Trust in the UIVERSE

Yesterday I watched a small bird, flying very fast, disappear into the canopy of an oak tree. So dense were its leaves that it was impossible to see what happened next, though I can tell you it remained inside.

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I wondered how the little bird found its opening through the leaves at such a speed, and then managed to gently align its fragile body on the branch it chose to land upon, all within a fraction of a second. Not to mention the impossible to imagine flying maneuvers required: the banking, the curling, the vertical and horizontal stabilization's, the deceleration and landing. Memory? Calculation? Not in that tiny brain. Instinct? Maybe, but how does instinct know which way the branches of a tree have grown when no two are the same?
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That little bird just knew. It had faith, in spite of not being able to see how things would work out, that if (and only if) it stayed the course the details would be taken care of; that an opening would appear and a twig would be found. In fact, had she slowed down enough to carefully and logically inspect the tree first, the prudent thing to do, she would have lost her lift and fallen to the ground.
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Kind of like reaching for your dreams. Neither memory, nor calculating, nor instincts are the deciding factors, but faith coupled with action.
~Tallyho, The Universe
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Well, this message came this morning. Fitting eh?
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I feel like the universe has given me yet another confirmation that I am going in the right direction. That direction being FORWARD! I have to trust in myself, who I am, all I know and be okay with where I am. And where I am is just where I am. The universe, God and Destiny are all in alignment. Deep breath. It will all work out. Not how I imagine.

Just how it is supposed to.
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So I got the trailer Friday and Ive already got 3 camping trips lined up!!!!!!!!!!!! HA! We had a great time in Idyllwild. We drove up, got a lil lost, but got there by 6, set up and were bbq-in by 8 ;-)
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(side note) Backing up on the setting up - Melissa will love this one:
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So moms and pops are setting up the Airstream and Keir and I are dealing with the Pop Up. She is unloading the truck and Im setting up the pop up. We get it all organized and she is handing me the bedding. I fix my side all up - eazy peazy.

Then I go to put her side altogether.............um yea.........ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (thats me screaming!) we didnt put the stabilizers under the left side of the trailer so when I went to the far side of Keirs side and..........
whhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww ba-bonk..............down it went.
Well its pitch black and I had feared the trailer rolling down the cliff earlier, so when the trailer tipped, I just pictured bedknobs and broomsticks - if you've ever seen the movie as a kid - the bed goes flying something like this - minus the smiley faces!SOOOOOOOOOOO Im face down inside the trailer, holding on for dear life, not moving a muscle, meanwhile, Keir is hysterically laughing, dad is stunned and crying he is laughing so hard and mom is laughing and saying "Where is my camera!" and Im thinkin...........someone put a rock under the front wheel or Im going off the cliff...........once I move the whole trailer goes ba-bonk the other way, dad says "Come on out, its fine" and I come out of the trailer and first thing Keir says is "That shudda been on YOUTUBE". Well Im just happy to have amuzed everyone. LOL
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That was it. All the excitement for the evening. Perfect. Glad to have been of service. ;-)
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Saturday dad and I hiked while mom and Keir played board games. The hike was pretty steep but really fun

After we hiked, pops and I came back and we all went into town. Pizza was on the menu but when we got to the pizza place we knew that wasnt what we all had in mind. It was in a funky old parking lot and indoors. Um Nope. Wasnt happnin'. The town is all on one street so we drove around and found Jo'Annes. Outdoor lil place with live music playin. um hum. Perfecto! Then we walked around town, went to the market, stopped in an antique store then back to the campsite for naps. HA! We were pooped! We had some snacks, listened to some music but really did a whole lotta nothing all afternoon til it started getting dark and we grilled out again ;-) Sunday morning we were up early

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Top-O-The-Mornin'

except Keir - teenagers love to get themselves some sleep!
Once 'sleeping teen' was up - we started packin it up and headed home...........it was the first weekend in our new trailer and it went off without a hitch - well except for me almost flying thru the air off the cliff ;-) Now the trailer is home and next up is getting it ready for some upcoming trips. We decided the trailer theme will be

- The Endless Summer -

So when you see a trailer being pulled down the highway that is painted like this:Throw us the "Hang loose" sign cuz Keir and I will be traveling to some summer destination wishing you were all with us!

"Shaka" ~Angie

A camping we will go!

I got it! I got it! I got it! Its older than dirt, but I got it! Its a 1987 StarCraft tent trailer. No more sleeping in a tent on the hard ground!!!!!!!! Its in killer condition, has 2 queen size beds, a stove, a sink and a huge dining table! This thing is so cool I cant stand myself!

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I packed the car up last night and am at work today all ready to go. I had a vibe to call the seller just to check if he is back from his vacation.

Sure enough he answers and said come get it!

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My dad blazed over to my work, jammed up to San Clemente and my dad totally wheeled and dealed with the seller and we got it for so cheap. WHAT A STEAL!

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So were headin' for the mountains this weekend and I was all set to camp in my tent.

NOT!!!!

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Now I'll be all cozy in my pop up! Anyone wanna buy a tent? ;-)

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Have a great weekend! Peace OUT!

A lil bit of this - A lil bit of that

What a weekend! After a week of an enormous life shift, I was ready for some R&R. And that's just what I got.

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Off from work early on Thursday and headed straight to the beach for a bbq and sunset with the family. It is so fun to be driving down the 101 and see my parents Airstream and the palapa umbrella. (Its their signature umbrella - can't miss it!) The sun popped out just long enough to grille up some teriyaki hamburgers with swiss cheese and pineapple. mmmmmmmmmmmmmm a little macaroni salad and the sun was just about to set. Why is this so amazing to me after 40 years? I dunno, but I sure love it. The sun setting on the ocean always brings me back to life in tuff times.
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Friday I slept in, got a nice long bath, messed around the house a lil then it was time to SPA. With my birthday gift card - I took myself to The Four Seasons for a day of some seriously needed pampering. Lord. Was it needed. Got an 80 minute all organic facial. All of the products were from the ocean. Soothing beyond my imagination. With my hands in paraffin wax, my shoulders were massaged and my facial was my chest, neck and face all at once. A light mist of steam trickling down.........I am sure I dozed off a few times. Absolutely let go.

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After my facial I headed out to the "Tranquility" pool. Hello. I dont know if I've ever seen a more elegant pool.

I ordered a chicken quesadilla and a glass of chardonnay. This was my view:

I slept on and off and sunned from 130 to 530. What an awesome day!

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Saturday was the 4th. Packed my backpack, hopped on my bike, grabbed some chips and beers and headed to the beach. Oops, backup. My tires were completely flat (need a bike pump) so I had to stop at 7-11 to fill up. After riding a lil ways I also realized its time to get a bike basket. I pretty much crushed all of my dads Fritos with the beers. LOL

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The fam was camped again in the Airstream at ponto so I battled the crazy out-of-town-traffic down the 101 and made it safely to the beach. SHEESH! As I pulled up to ponto the crowds were all nuts. Families were parked in every nook and cranny possible. I've never seen anything like it. A man was pist off at another man and he went over to his big giant beer bellied buddy and they both came over to the other man together. OMG they were fighting over a parking spot! I looked back once then just kept riding. Too intense for me to deal with such anger on a gorgeous sunny holiday weekend. Hope they worked it out.

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Sat under the palapa all day and got some great sun. Went in the water a couple of times and then whipped up some chicken teriyaki kabobs and mom made a rad summer salad! mmmmmmmmmmm - Clouds were comin over so after we bbq'd I hopped back on my bike and rode home. It was too cloudy in Encinitas to see the fireworks but I could hear them over at Aviara. ;-) Killer day!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Sunday. Was up at 7. Why? I dunno know. Woke up, it was sunny, I had energy so I rolled with it. Got up, cleaned the house, went to breakfast, then decided to drag my folks all over Oceanside in search of a bike basket. he he FOUND IT!

Now I can ride to the farmers market on Sundays, grab some flowers and fresh fruit and ride back without crashing! Dad got it all set up for me and I was ready for a ride.

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Mom went to grab grandpa Buddy to get him out of the house and I finished doin' some stuff at my place. Around 230 we met up over at a little pub in Leucadia "Uncle Dukes". Grandpa needed some fun so we put some Elvis and Johnny Cash on the jukebox and got gramps a bud and some chips and we had the best time. We even did a little waltz to Folsom Prison Blues. It was so fun to have a lil dance with my 88 year old grandpa. He said he really enjoyed gettin out and asked if we could do that more often. Awe. Lil grandpa.

Welp. That was my weekend. Sun, Fun & Family.

Mission accomplished.

My Path

We've all had our ups and downs in life now haven't we? Some more than others. What has been ringing true to me lately is we're all in this together. I'm on my path, you're on yours. But in the end, the more we can help one another the easier life seems. So if that's true why is it so hard to ask for help? When things seem to veer off my path of happiness, little voices ring in my ears. "Just get it done" "Make it happen" "You can do it" "You don't need anyone's help""Don't burden anyone" and so on. I decided to ask for help and in the past few weeks I have been digging deep into my soul. With that have seemed to have stirred up some interesting stuff that needed to be addressed. Things that have plagued me my whole life. Made me angry, sad, fearful, insecure and have left me paralyzed in many situations that most people would just blow off and say "Well that was so and so's fault" or "Its not me, its him, her or them" .

Well. The truth is. It is high time I face myself in the mirror and recognize that person or those people I blame for making me feel this way or that way is ..........ME.

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I have decided to accept responsibility for my own actions in my life. How I talk to people, treat people and how I proceed from here on. Yesterday was the first day where I woke up knowing their was an elephant in the room that I could no longer ignore. The elephant in the room is my past. Lemme tell ya.........Its one big fucking elephant! So I see it now and as of yesterday I am facing it head on. Not trying to go around it, above it or over it. Just face it. By saying "IT" I am saying its time to face MYSELF.

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This is uncharted territory for me. Ive taken seminars, read countless, and I mean countless books on self help etc, had counseling and talked so many friends ears off I am surprised they can still wear earrings! With all of the help and work I believed I had done on myself what I didn't realize was I was working on more obvious things or rather things that were EASILY worked on from the surface. But to really feel good about myself and who I am I had to take measures to dive deeper and drum up the muck.

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What's made me recognize most of this is that in a few days I'll be turning 40, my daughter is about to turn 16 and I've met someone that is worth me taking at look at who I really am. He's made me want to be a better person. When he and I re-connected a few months ago I was so sure I was in a great place in my life. I swore up and down that I am not one of those crazy chicks full of drama, baggage or whatever else all chicks seem to feed off of.

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HA! Was I wrong. I've realized so much about myself these past weeks that it was hard to not see that I am far from finished with my so called WORK on myself. The WORK is just beginning. I guess life is always a work in progress. (Maybe I should make a shirt that says that!) So I'm turning 40, Keir is turning 16 and I have a great guy in my life that deserves to be treated with kindness, love and respect.

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This is where I begin my new path. Today I give myself a brownie button for taking this step in the right direction.

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I know the work ahead will be hard, uncomfortable at times and a little scary but I'm ready and willing to do the work so I can live in the present moment. My gift to myself is acceptance. Acceptance of where I am today. Ive begun a new journey. On a path filled with pretty trees, plants, flowers and hope. I have proved I am a survivor and I take ownership of my emotions, intentions and truth. I see the elephant and today he seems a little smaller than yesterday. Hopefully everyday he is shrinking until one day the elephant is no more.

That will be a good day.

Surrender

Yesterday I sat in my backyard looking up at the sky. I was asking God and the universe for guidance, clarity, strength, hope and whatever else the two of them could come up with for me. You know what was answered back? A light breeze, birds singing and a lil sunlight peeking thru the clouds. This has always been the answer when I ask questions. The breeze, sun, singing.......they are all there to remind me to surrender to my own mind. Step out. Let life be life. Im not in control. Im just here to live, love and laugh.

Live the best life. Be the best mother, daughter, sister and lover I can be. Be gentle with myself. Be happy that I am healthy! I was remembering a few months ago when my health wasnt so good. All the tests. Monitors. Doctor visits. It was not that long ago! Going to sleep for weeks wondering......"Am I dying?" - "Will I wake up tomorrow?" ......And now just months later......Im healthy and all of those health issues are gone. So living the best life to me means BE HAPPY TO BE HEALTHY AND ABLE TO LIVE!

Love with my whole heart. Be open. Help others in need.

Laugh. Mostly to laugh. Laugh at myself. How serious I am. Why am I this way you ask? Conditioning. A lifetime of being conditioned to BE THE BEST. Being the best at everything is all consuming. Years ago I gave up that thinking but recently have forgotten to get back to that place of laughing at myself. Let go of the conditioning and remind myself to STOP-LOOK-LISTEN not just to my own inner voice but of those around me who love me and want only my true happiness.

The air around me has been cloudy of late. But today I surrender. I surrender to thinking I am the all seeing eye. This, I am not. I am just a simple girl. Living a simple life. Loving my daughter, family friends. Thanking God and the universe for giving me a job that keeps a roof over my head, gas in my car, light in my home and food on my table. For my destiny leading me to a man who has challenged me to see out side of myself and to be open to whatever our journey together brings.

So again, I surrender. Surrendering has never been easy for me. I like things in order. Ship shape. Easy. Basic. Drama free. But luckily for me and those around me. Nowadays I find peace when I surrender. When I let go. Today, I am letting go..............

On the day that you were born the angels got together..................

There is a song by The Carpenters called 'Close to You'..............'Close To You' was released in late May of 1970 and within six weeks was Number one. Its been a song that we all sing in our family and my mom sings it to me and I have always sang it to Keir. Here are some of the lyrics:

On the day that you were born
The angels got together
And decided to create a dream come true
So they sprinkled moon dust in your hair of gold
And starlight in your eyes of blue

Why do stars fall down from the sky
Every time you walk by?
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you

Everytime the song comes on..... I want to squeeze Keir and tell her how much I love her. She is just the most amazing daughter a mom could ever begin to dream of. I believe the angels brought her to me. Over the weekend we spent time with my nieces, her cousins of course, and the whole time we were at the park I just couldnt stop snapping pictures of Keir. She is such a natural beauty and sparkles from the inside out. Her eyes are so blue sometimes I can stop staring at them. Good thing she doesnt mind too much.

Keir is so special. She is so smart, kind, considerate, fun, funny and loving. Im constantly amazed at what a wonderful child she has always been. Even when she was little, like 4 or 5, she would dress up in my clothes and pose and be funny or I would be playing a cd and she would learn the lyrics and then ask for that song to be played so she could put on a show for me and sing.

All of her inner beauty make her a beautiful person on the outside. What I love most about her is how she always has a smile and I was just remembering when I taught her to ride her bike with her training wheels on when were living in la jolla. I bought her a barbie helmet. She put it on and was peddling all around the pool of our complex and I can still see the smile on her face as I took her picture. Its just like the one you see above. I love that about her.

Sometimes the candid pictures of Keir are the best. When she doesnt know youre watching her. In this picture above she was pushing Kelis and Mozelle on the swings and all I could think is wow.....................she is just stunning. Absolutely stunning. I love her style too. Some teens dont have a style just yet. They havent really figured out what they like or dont like. Keir has this really awesome bohemian style of funky tops, cool jewelry and hippy shoes or uggs. ha ha I love it. Im always so in awe when we shop together and she finds the coolest stuff.

Not only is she just this beauty, she gives her heart and soul to her family. She loves all of us and always wants to hang with us and take lil road trips, camp, go to breakfast or just sit with us and chat. I just feel so lucky to have a teenager that is so into family and loves life and lives to the fullest and the happiest she can everyday. She gets the meaning of 'Stop and Smell the Roses'

When youre as awesome of a kid as Keir is you attract cool people to you. I talked to Keirs school counselor today and she said she loved that Keir is so special and hip but she hangs out with kids that maybe arent the coolest or the most popular. Keir chooses friends that are TRUE FRIENDS and she sticks close to them. Like George. (Pictured above) Keir has been friends with George since 7th grade. We have spent time with his family and he with ours and we really cherish that Keir has stayed so close to him.

Well I guess Ive had a long overdue brag session! Most of my friends have little ones and I get to hear about how they are walking, talking, eating, what their poop looked like last night, that they are off the boob, not having a pacifier at bedtime anymore etc.........I just needed to say to all ya all...............I have the best daughter I could have ever dreamed and Keir.........if you read this.........just know.....

On the day that you were born
The angels got together
And decided to create a dream come true
So they sprinkled moon dust in your hair of gold
And starlight in your eyes of blue

Why do stars fall down from the sky
Every time you walk by?
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you................I love you muffin. Love, Mom

Lakers game was fun but what bout' LL?

Left Encinitas at 4 and got to the game by 630. Not to shabby. Got off on Pico and whipped right into Lot 1 and into the Staples Center like champs! Up 2 flights and into B-15 VIP box. SWEET!

Grabbed ourselves some yummi apps and an Amstel and we were good to go! OH YEA!

Jack having a little convo before the game starts. The Lakers are winning, beers are cold, Jen and I are havin a blast but really we were just biding out time waitin for the big screen to pan on this guy:Sittin next the where the players are standing in the White t-shirt and white ball cap is none other than LL Cool J. We could see his diamond chunks (as Jen called them) all the way up in the VIP box! He would move or turn and they were blinding!!!!! Finally just after the 3rd quarter they panned on LL and kept the camera on him for a while. The crowd went crazy. Jen and I sat in silence. He did his signature lip lick and that was bout that.

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Back on the road, 5 was closed, detour thru Long Beach, back on the 710 and onto the 5 and home in 1.5. Thats what Im talkin' bout.

Thanks for drivin Jen! That was so fun!!!!!!!!!

Monterey or Bust!

We did it! We went to Monterey! WHOO HOO! Mom and I headed out at dawn on Friday and the entire road trip was incredible! We had the best time and it was non-stop fun! We only had one lil mishap.................it looked a little something like this:
We were passing thru Irvine and I noticed the car next to us must have hit the car in front of him cuz their was smoke and his front end was completely pushed in. Just then mom slammed on the brakes!! Her car is so gnarly we didnt even feel the car going from 70 to a stop! Smoke everywhere, cars hitting each other behind us, screeching and she sees another car about to hit us from the rear side..............she throws it into drive and in 1 second we were outta there! No one hit us but she could see everything going on behind us and she said "should we stop?" I said "NO! GO GO GO!" and we got the flock outta there! She was still shaking and realized she had so much adrenaline she was about to pass out. She started seeing stars so I began fanning her with a magazine.............after a few minutes of laughing, crying and giving a special thanks to moms NASCAR driving skills we made it out without a scratch. Miracle one.

We figured after that incident we were golden. So we continued on our journey up north. WHEW!

We got to Santa Barbara and decided to stop for brunch and a celebration of being alive with a mimosa ;-)

We had yummi egg white omlettes at Shell Cafe' and then jumped back on the highway of death. ha ha

As we made our way we had chips and ranch dressing and that was it all the way to Monterey. Our GPS navigation system was working but we kept not believing it and called our hotel from time to time. Sure enough still 2 hours away. How is that possible? Seemed like we had been driving forever!

Off the 101 and exit Sanborn. FINALLY! Now we're on 68 and heading into the Monterey Peninsula. Lord almighty! 7 straight hours of driving!!!!!We arrive at the Lighthouse Lodge and just like the brochure said..........1/2 block to the beach! Incredible. Well. Their is a catch. See below video:

All we could do is pour a glass of wine and get over it! We have beautiful deer to our right and just beyond several folks who are no longer living is the gorgeous ocean! Hey the hotel is free so we wont complain! ;-) The show must go on!!!!

We gathered our bearings and headed into town. Parked front row and went into Scheid for a wine tasting. We really just wanted a glass but they didnt do "by the glass" so they were super nice and showed us where to go. Well none of those places were cozy looking so we walked back into Scheid. The girl was so nice she said......."How bout I just give you 4 tastings of the same wine?" Hip hip hooray! YES! The decor was warm and inviting and we sat next to the fireplace and sipped our chardonnay. The manager came up and gave us an extra tasting of the RESERVE as we chatted with him about the building and the town. We told him we were going to the Sardine Factory for dinner and he said "OH well if you buy wine here there is no corking fee there!" Well that was an easy sale. ;-) *MOM*

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We laughed and took these pics like this on purpose and all night we would look at the pics back and forth and roll laughing that we look alike and say MOM now ME - MOM now ME - MOM now ME over and over. Maybe you had to be there but we thought it was hilarious!

We went to the Sardine Factory after our tasting and had Steak and Salmon and just so happened to be seated in the most gorgeous seat in the house. The Conservatory.

Our dinner and service were incredible. This is all DAY 1!

In the morning we got up, I grabbed us breakfast from the continental breakfast bar and we headed to 17 Mile to take the coastal drive to Pebble Beach for lunch. :-) First we have to grab gas and cash. We stop in town and as we make a U-turn and are driving to the bank I realize.........Did I just see what I thought I saw? "MOM TURN AROUND!" She whips a U-ie and we pull up to this church:

Of course we stopped. Said a prayer. Got choked up. Then continued on in amazement.

The drive to Pebble Beach is beautiful. The scenery is like nothing youve ever seen. Huge trees and forest with the ocean peeking thru. We got to the Pebble Beach Lodge and were seated directly overlooking the 18th hole! Miracle 2.

As we were leaving Pebble Beach a man asked if we were going to Carmel. We hadnt really thought much about it but he gave us a map and said its literally 5 minutes from here. Um ok, duh...........so off we went! Got into Carmel, bought some t-shirts, walked around a little then headed back to Pacific Grove/Monterey.

We stopped at the butterfly sanctuary which..........big surprise...........just happened to be a block from our hotel! Thousands of butterflies.................So beautiful. Afterwards we drove back into Monterey, had a little bite to eat then over to Bargetto for a wine tasting. They were so nice there and we just totally enjoyed all the great service. We each bought a bottle. YAY!

As you can imagine, by now, we are pooped! We think we are going to go to the hotel and nap then head back out for dinner. What troopers we are. NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!! We got to the hotel. Put on the fireplace. Watched a movie and ordered in. HE HE All of this was DAY 2!

Ok..............last day.............Wake up, shower, pack and off we go! Hop onto HWY 1 for a beautiful stroll home down the coast to San Diego. (Im laughing as I write this) Um............HWY 1 is anything but a stroll. Beautiful yes. But a stroll? No. Its a 2 lane HWY on a 200 foot cliff with no barriers! My worst nightmare! Well I tried to be brave and enjoy it but it was not easy. Mom did great. She was fine and wanted to go 80 in a 40 zone but I would scream and tantrum til she slowed down. yes, Im a brat. But to me it looked like this will be us soon:

Minus the boat but this is how I envisioned us if Dannika didnt slow down!

We started seeing restaurants and rest stops that said Big Sur. Oh...............we said............we must be in BIG SUR! Hi we're blonde! We kept seeing places to stop but werent feelin it. Finally we came around a tight bend and mom said "Here?" "Yes!" I said. We ended up at Deetjen's Big Sur Inn. Its been there since the early 1930's and is now a historical landmark. As we ate our brunch we asked to hear the story of the Inn. The owner brought us several books to go thru. To our surprise and bewilderment the one place we pick was built and owned by a Norwegian man named Helmuth Deetjen. We pick the one place owned by a Norwegian. Again. We're choked up. We ate and talked and realized............hey we need to get back on the road! Here is the Big Sur Inn:

All the photos of Helmuth over the years are in the background - Sunlight on my pretty mom

Our awesome window table overlooking the pine trees and flowers outside:-)

Well.............after breakfast we hopped back on the 1 and headed to Paso Robles, up the 46 to HWY 101! Sidenote: (HWY 46 is the wine country row......how we ended up on it is just a twist of fate) We stopped at Laetitia Vineyard for our picnic and that was all she wrote. Literally! We jammed back to San Diego and made it home by 615pm. Record time thanks to KT aka. Dannika Patrick! Mom, that was a great trip. So many memories. I love you, Ang

2 girls, a sunny day and some good ol' eric clapton...

I am partial but I happen to think I have the prettiest momma ever! Saturday mom picked me up at 11 (ON THE DOT!) and we drove out Del Dios HWY to Hernandeaz Hideawy. mmmmmmmmmm we had Margaritas and brunch. HA! Who cares its almost summer!

Hernandez Hideaway is a little Mexican restaurant out in the middle of no where but it is so yummi! This is a pic of the restaurant and some cute workers sittin out havin a beer. Course I made them wave! ;-)
Lake Hodges.............not a bad way to spend a Saturday huh?
We had some time to kill before we were meetin up with pops so we mozied out yonder to Orfila Vineyard! A little browsing and a quick glass of their Award Winning Chardonnay we were back on our way!
Jammin to some Eric Clapton..............wind blowin..............what an awesome day!
After 2 failed attempts at restaurants that had closed down.......we ended up at Joes' Crabshack, window table, overlooking the harbor in Oceanside. WOW. The luck-o-the-Trulson's!!!!
Thanks for a great day mom and pop. Im a lucky girl! XOXOXO

Check Check Check.......he says................

How fun to still love live music as much as I do. I still check venues regularly around town to see whose playing and whats happening that I may want to do. Well it just so happens on Monday around 2pm Im listening to 102.1 KPRi and they announce Donavon Frankenreiter is playing at the Belly Up. Excuse me!!!!!!!!!!!!! At the Belly UP? 5 miles from my house? OMG. I checked the website calendar and sure as shit. He's playing Monday and Thursday...............both shows

SOLD OUT! Son of a bitch. Since I work with all the biggest players in the media industry I start askin around if we have any connections with Belly Up. I got a big fat NO from everyone. Dammit. One of my buddys said call and see if they released any more tickets. I did. They had just released 2 tix. As I had KAT on hold at the box office Im thinking to myself...........well who in the hell am I gonna go with? DER! So I hang up. That evening I was talkin with my buddy Sonny and he was into going THUR to the show. He can get tix since he and Donavon are friends. RAD! So we plan on THUR and all week Im stoked thinkin about it. YEA. Ends up Donavon changed his number and Sonny cant get a hold of him. No biggy. We will just go and buy tix from scalpers when we get there. Lil adventure. ;-) Im up for it! Well THURs my buddy Marty at my office comes up to me and says "Do you belive in fate?" "Of course" I say "Well you must have some good karma cuz here ya go" as he hands me 2 tix to Donavon Frankenreiter! HOLY SHIT! One of the guys at the office had 2 extra and gave them to Marty and Marty gave them to me. WOW. ASK AND IT IS GIVEN ............... I was walkin to the bar to get my thousandth beer and these guys saw me holding my camera, took it, and their budy took this pic. ha ha Just random guys but I had to post it cuz I thought it was a funny thing to happen to a chick mindin her own business. In the picture we all look like were bff's! Hilarious. Well the show rocked and another hero of mine joined Donavon on stage towards the end of his the set. Rob Machado. It was awesome. Not a bad evening............and my all time fav part was when he first took the stage and said "Check, check check" into the mic........damn thats hot.

Nurture thy soul..............

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Today I woke up with a sense of feeling nurtured all the way to the core of my being. I didnt wake up feeling lost, insecure or wondering "whats next". I woke up knowing its all going to work out. I started off the week by meeting up with McCabe at her magical cottage by the sea. We talked, ate & drank for nearly 3 hours. It felt good to be open and honest and to hear myself say the words Ive longed to hear come out of my mouth...........I am truly happy. I am truly safe. I am truly pure of my intentions to the universe. Finally I am free of the suffocating feeling of emptiness and and the annoying feeling that I just dont know where life is going to take me. I dont feel that way any longer. I AM FREE.

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As I walked onto the jetty at ponto this morning a guy dressed in jeans, uggs, sweatshirt and some very cool glasses was standing out towards the end staring out at the waves. He said Good morning and so did I. I took the picture of the Loved As Is rock, watched the surfers for a bit then turned to walk back to my car.

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Ponto jetty is a very magical place. I have said prayers there for many years and so has my dad. Its kinda the place we go when were feeling like we need to be closer to God. I guess we think we will be heard more clearly while praying if we are in a place that makes us feel so good. And magically, Ponto jetty always does the trick.

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On Monday, just as I left McCabe's, she handed me the painted rock *Loved As Is*

which is so typical of her to know exactly what nourishment a friend needs. And boy did I need it! But she has also said time and time again that she loves to leave her rocks all over the beach area for people to find. To spread joy and happiness in her own little way.

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So today as I was leaving me and dads "secret spot" I realized that my Ponto jetty energy rejuvenation morning may not have been only for me. As I walked across the sand and was nearing my car the man on the jetty was also getting into his car. He is a nice looking man with blonde sun kissed scraggly hair. He looks like he just woke up, thru on his jeans and was on a surf check. This just happens to be my favorite look on a man.

;-)

I got into my car. He in his. I turned the ignition. But stopped. I took the rock and walked over to his car. Tap tap tap on his window......
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"I guess I am supposed to give this to you" I said
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"To me?" He said
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"Yes, its for you" "Have a great day" I said
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"THANKS!" He said
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I turned and walked back to my car and we waved to each other as I drove away...........Thanks to McCabe and her sweet little slice of heaven for all to enjoy and to me for thinking to myself...........maybe this man, just like me, needs to know...........HE IS...........

California Dreamin.............

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So as Im drivin home yesterday I realize how amazing the evening weather is and that Im driving along the coast and ..................this is my life. Im on the 101 drivin thru Carlsbad and on the radio are the Mama's and the Papa's singin .............

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All the leaves are brown

All the leaves are brown

And the sky is grey

And the sky is grey

Ive been for a walk

Ive been for a walk

On a winters day

On a winters day

Id be safe and warm

Id be safe and warm

If I was in l.a.

If I was in l.a.

California dreamin

California dreamin

On such a winters day

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And here I am..........grab my camera and start snappin shots as I drive along the coastline........it amazes me that its February and these images are what I get to enjoy on my way home......
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The ocean breeze is so incredible .......its fragrance is like a dream.

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The Mama's and the Papa's song continues.......
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Stopped into a church
I passed along the way
Well, I got down on my knees
Got down on my knees
And I pretend to pray
I pretend to pray
You know the preacher likes the cold
Preacher likes the cold
He knows Im gonna stay
Knows Im gonna stay
California dreamin
California dreamin
On such a winters day
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As I pull up to my parents spot at Ponto I see them waving, mom and dad both raise their glasses to me and cheers the air, Mike and Meg pop up from their chairs and cheers me as well.....the sun has nearly set now......
the mama's and the papa's finish with
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All the leaves are brown
All the leaves are brown
And the sky is grey
And the sky is grey
Ive been for a walk
Ive been for a walk
On a winters day
On a winters day
If I didnt tell her
If I didnt tell her
I could leave today
I could leave today
California dreamin
California dreamin
On such a winters day
California dreaming
On such a winters day
California dreaming
On such a winters day
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I think to myself....this is my real life. I am California Dreamin...........On such a winters day.

i can see clearly now.............

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Havent posted anything for a while. After I kicked off the new year, did a re-deux then went into some freaky funk I decided to take a little blog break. I needed to refresh the new year and Ive done a great job. Cleaned out a lot of old clutter, freshened up my workout by walking everyday at lunch and changed my eating habits so Im eating much better! What a difference!

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This morning I got up early and headed up to Tamarak to watch the guys surf and get myself into a zen place. Feels so awesome to sit and listen to music and watch surfers. Makes me so happy.

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Ive been so easily amuzed lately. Doesnt take much.............

January in North County doesnt suck.

;-)

untitled

I left this untitled cuz thats about how Ive been feeling. I cant figure it out. Why am I so down? Am I pms-ing? Am I lonely? Am I just lame? WTF! All week I have been trying to figure myself out so today, now that Ive wasted my whole week, I give up. Rather, give in. Im giving into my funk and Im just going to let it run its course. You know we are all supposed to be "positive" 24/7 so earlier in the week I did what I usually do when Im feeling crummy. I get juanitas rolled tacos and guac and I go to the beach and watch the sunset. Didnt work. The funk is still there.

I wonder what it is? Well my rolled tacos with guac didnt help. Good thing tho is it made me decide to start eating better and start running at lunch cuz maybe my comfort food is making me grouchy! So yesterday I went and got some healthy groceries from Trader Joes' and today I will be running at lunch. Cmon endorphins kick in!I took this picture of Keir on Christmas Day and keep meaning to post it. She is just the cutest thing in this pic! She looks all cozy and Christmas-y! I hugged her so many times in that outfit I think she was getting annoyed. he he So Im posting this pic finally cuz it makes me happy. :-)
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Well i just thought Id post my cranky post to hopefully abandon this feeling and purge it onto my computer and into my blog. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr crabbiness GO AWAY!

New Years Day.........Re Deux......................!!!

Not everyone will agree with me but somehow I managed to think 2008 was a great year. I had so much to be grateful for, more so than things to be bummed about, so to me that equals a great year. Keir moved to her dads in November 2007 so by Thanksgiving 2008 I was really taking a look around and realizing all that had been accomplished in that year. Not only was Keir loving her new school, getting straight A's (YAY KEIR) but her and her dad were getting a second chance at being father and daughter. Something that was always there but just out of reach for the two of them. I redecorated and painted my house. Reconnected with countless amounts of old friends. Made new friends. Spent real, true, fun, quality time with my family (especially my sister and my nieces. Jen and I made real efforts to get together and do fun stuff on a regular basis.) These are just a few things I can think of. What about the fact that I asked God and the universe for a new industry for work, close to home, working with nice people. Voila! Got it! I asked God and the universe to be able to visit Ben and Melissa. Voila! Got that wish too! Seriously I have more to be thankful for than I have in many many years.

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Now New Years Day was a little different story. Here's where this blog title comes into play. I woke up on New Years Day after having the flu for a few days and just felt kinda jipped. Like, hey, 2009 was supposed to start off with a bang and instead it started off with a fever and body aches. Good news is I was definitely feeling better so I rallied a little and called Darcy and invited myself over for a glass of wine by announcing, "Im buying some wine, Ive got your Christmas Present and Im coming over to have a glass with you before you get ready for your date!" Im sure Darcy was thrilled. Not so much. ha ha We were able to have a glass and I headed home just before the fog rolled in! WHEW!

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Weird tho. Still wasnt feeling like I had a real NEW YEARS DAY vibe. Darn it. So what to do?

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A New Years Day RE DEUX of course!

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I got a gift certificate to The Four Seasons from my boss. I called up Aviara and started plotting my RE DEUX. "Good morning, I received a gift card and Im wondering if I can use it for SPA services?" "Why yes of course you may" Said the wonderful voice on the other end of the line. "Lovely", I said. "Also, may I use it in the restaurant?" "Why yes of course you may" again came from the wonderful voice. "Lastly, does that include alcohol?", I said. "Why yes of course if does". Ah. Perfect.

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Made an appointment for an hour long Swedish Massage then called my mom to see if she wanted to meet for lunch at 2. "Why of course I would", said mom. (Like she could ever pass up a day at Aviara with me overlooking the golf course!) tee hee Love you MOM!

The Four Seasons at Aviara. Right in our own backyard. Just doesnt get much better I tell ya. Now. Im sorry to torture you with this image but here's how the morning went. I arrive at Aviara and walk into the SPA. It smells like vanilla and light lotion from the islands. Its warm and toasty. Im greeted by the sweetest girl who treats me like Im a princess. Miss Norton this and Miss Norton that. Oh la la I was in heaven! I got a locker, big fluffy robe, comfy flip flops that massaged my feet as I walked. Then I was given lemon water and ushered into this spectacular atrium. I sat near the fireplace in the picture above with my feet up as I read a magazine. It was so amazing I was a bit overwhelmed and got choked up. I thought, Wow, how did I get here? How am I so lucky to have this amazing day? ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. After about an hour of lounging and doing nothing it was time for my massage. A whole hour of being pampered. Pa-Leeze!
I showered and took my time getting ready after and met mom in the lounge for lunch.

We ordered a beautiful cheese plate and shared a bottle of chardonnay. I told her about my plotting and that she was part of my plan to have a RE DEUX of New Years Day. She loved the idea and we toasted to 2009!

Just a happy little lark she is!


Dan, our waiter. Now get this. He was the cheeriest guy you'll ever meet. He was fun and funny all afternoon. He laughed all day about how silly we were but really just accommodated our every whim. Thanks for making the day extra fun Dan!


This is Dan's contribution to our RE DEUX. Its a New Years Day Christmas Tree! Now every year we will have to put a palm tree out to make sure we dont break tradition.
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Thanks to my boss, mom, Melissa (she actually gave me the re-deux idea cuz she and Ben were doing it as well), Darcy for starting off my re deux and all of my friends and family who put up with me year after year. Youre all a blessing and Im the luckiest girl in the world. Keir, thanks for making my life so special. Youre everything to me. Love, Happiness and Prosperity in 2009! CHEERS!

PS. You all know that Im obsessed with coming home from work and looking at my doorstep for gifts, trinkets, flowers or my future husband.............well Melissa was kind enough to throw me a bone and shut me up for a while. Saturday I came home to this cuff "HOT SEXY" in a package on my doorstep! I loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee it and its now become part of my collage/dream board! Youre such a great friend Mel. Couldnt make it without ya bunsie.

Pss. The Chargers won on Saturday! 17-17, game went into overtime. Chargers scorea touchdown for the win! My final final part of my New Years Day RE DEUX! HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! Go Chargers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Big Bear Christmas Week!

Holy Canoli! Drove up on Monday morning. Had to stop in Oceanside and buy cables for the tires. Forecast was calling for snow. great. NOT! We made it! Raining the whole way but no snow yet. WHEW! Got up on the slopes and rode til we were so cold we couldnt ride anymore. Got in the warm lodge, had chili, a beer and got back out there!

Ok, little mistake. It was now windy and frrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreezing. Took one run then went into the ski shop and bought bandanas for our faces. SO COLD!

Keir and I just before we got the bandanas. See how cold our faces are? awe. poor us!

Here's where things get interesting. It was around 3 and we were done boarding. Our cabin was only blocks from Bear Mtn. Awesome. Um, yea. Not so much. The cabin was up a mile long road that hadnt been plowed. We had to stop and put the cables on the tires. It was getting dark and starting to snow. The guy at the gas station was a jack-ass and was going to charge us $40 to put the cables on. I thought, I will at least try to get them on..................Voila! An hour later I got those babies on! Not easy by any means but I did it. I have a new appreciation for guys. Putting on cables is a guys job. I will never do it again unless its an emergency and were going to die.

Our awesome chalet................so beautiful. Knickerbocker Mansion!

Our cabin. Keir loved the fish. ha ha. We hated it! Oh well, it was warm and cozy and 21 degrees outside and the wind was whipping like crazy so being in the cabin with the stuffed fish wasnt so bad. We ordered Dominos pizza and called it a night. Hilarious.

Woke up to a foot of fresh snow

Gotta start the process of getting all the snow off the car but first we must write our names on the car cuz were tourists and its fun. LOL
Where to begin?


This is our drive home. It wasnt bad. The snow had been plowed and we had our cables on. Now the interesting part was getting down the mountain and having to take them off. This is another job for a guy. I had to crawl under the car to unhook them. When your down the mtn of course the snow has melted so I was laying in melted dirty stinky snow. The first thing that happened was the snow from underneath the car melted and dripped into my mouth and onto my face. It was so gross. Of course Keir laughed and continued texting inside the warm cozy truck. Thanks Keir. I got the right side off fine but the left side got stuck. It was getting cold and clouds were coming over. I thought the cable was stuck in the wheel well and we were going to be stranded. I saw a truck driver about to leave and didnt hesitate to be a girl. "Sir!" "Can you help me?" He came over, pulled the cable and out it came. We got it off, I thew the cables in the truck and we high-tailed it the hell outta there! We got home so fast I was even surprised. ha ha I can say for sure that driving to the mountains in the pouring rain and sleeting snow is not for the faint of heart. I love being a girl and will never try to do boy stuff again. EVER!

Single in Encinitas

I thought I'd take you on a night in the life of a single girl in Encinitas. ME!

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So last night it was pouring rain as I drove home and it was dark so I decided to go home, get cozy and ......skip yoga. Dammit. I really wanted to try Andrews class at Yoga Swami but I wasnt feelin' it so I stopped at the store and bought myself some flowers. I wanted Stargazer Lillies cuz they are so pretty and festive and make an entire room smell fresh and girly. Just what the doctor ordered. ahhhhhhhhh

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The next thing I did was pour myself a lovely glass of Bogle. Melissa introduced me to this chardonnay and Ive been hooked. Its so light and refreshing and pairs nicely with the bruchetta I made. Mind you, I have never made bruchetta in my life. I had to email Mel and ask her what to do! I had all the fixin's but alas, totally clueless on how to make it. I cut up the bread, poured a little olive oil on the bread and toasted it in the oven. mmmmmmmmmmm

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Sidenote: to the left of the picture is a Oil & Vinegar Cruet that came in the mail last night. Ive always wanted one and finally found one online at Allysonskitchen.com. I was so happy when I came home last night to a little gift on my doorstep! My favorite thing is to drive up to my house and look for gifts on my doorstep. Why? I dont know. Am I hoping my future husband will be waiting for me on my doorstep? lol .....I need to get a grip.

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Ok, so dinner is ready and Im excited to sit down to my beautiful table to eat ......but first off I need to light the pilot light cuz its about 48 degrees in my house. brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! I couldnt take it another second!!!! Called my dad and asked where the area was that I lit the match. He was annoyed but told me anyways. (He has lit the pilot light in every house Ive lived in since I was 19. So this was a huge turning point for me to figure it out and do it myself.) So here goes.......

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POOF! I did it! OMG I thought for sure I was gonna lose an eyebrow but first try and it lit! Now, lemme tell you how funny this is. Both Emilio and Winston immediately went over to the heater and flopped down next to it. OMG they have been freezing their asses off for weeks now!

Poor guys ....BAD MOMMY!
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Lil Emilio so grateful to have heat

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Winston just irritated that its taken me this long to light it. He's been sneezing for days hinting to me to just light the damn thing already! So this is Winnie pist and down right frustrated with me.
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Cranked that puppy to 90! Everyone is happy. Sheesh.

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Another thing us single gals do for ourselves is browse thru Homegoods looking for whatever might jump out at us and make us buy it. This round a 3-pak of Sandlewood diffusers jumped out and forced me to purchse them...........I actually have one in every room now. The only problem with the diffusers is opening the outer box which always has about 20 really annoyingly sticky pieces of tape to keep it irritatingly closed super duper beyond tight. grrrrrrrrrrrrr Then you have to pop off the top of each one, which is also annoyingly stuck in tight and lastly each pair of sticks has 3 pieces of tape on them!

Holy Mary Mother of GOD! Just open already!!!!!!!

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Dont Laugh. Last week I took lil Emilio to the vet and they took xrays and it turns out he has bad hips. Poor fella is gonna have to live like this for a while. He isnt in any pain so thats good but he cant jump which means he cant get up on the bed. So I got him some stairs and put them together and showed him how to go up and down. He hated it at first and wouldnt do it but by the end of the night he was crusin up and down like a champ!

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Tah dah! Look at me Im almost to the top!

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Welp thats it. OH YEAH and I wrapped some presents and added ribbon to a few others that looked blah.

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Thats the night in the life of this single gal...........

Jingle all the way..........

Ok, I know. Im out of control. Christmas is 16 days away but I dont care. To me, its just around the corner and Im so excited someone slap me!

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Keir and I went and got the tree Friday night and as part of our tradition afterwards we went to Islands for dinner with the tree on top of the car.

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This year was a little different tho cuz our tree is only 5 feet tall so it fit in the back of my ginormous truck! It looked to witto in the back but we absolutely love it!!!

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It was easy for me to pick up and carry in and with the help of Keir and her friend Kia, their was no screaming or cussing between Keir and I while getting the tree in the stand and straight.

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Every year we struggled with just us 2 girls to get our 7 or 8 foot tree straight and this year we decided Santa is watching and we "better be good for goodness sake" and that meant no cussing while trimming the tree!

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So with our lil' Charlie Brown Christmas tree we accomplished just that. It got all put up without one single argument.

***Note to self: Only get 5ft Christmas tree going forward ;-)

Saturday night Keir and I got all fancy and went to my work Christmas Party. The dress Keir is wearing is the one she got for her homecoming that I never got to see on her cuz she was being a teenager and blew me off for her big day. So finally I got to see her all dressed up in it!

(Im telling you this cuz Keir reads this blog and Im rubbing it in that she ditched me for homecoming~Love you honey! LOL)

Keir loves to try new restaurants just like me so on the weekends we usually cook a lot at home but one day or night we like to go out. So Sunday we decided to head north to San Clemente for a little restaurant recon mission. We didnt know where we were going but we knew we wanted a cute little place that we would love to come back to and we found it!!!

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Cafe Mimosa

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Keir had a cappuccino and I had a pomegranate mimosa and for brunch she had the Croissant French Toast and I had the "Mexi Scramble" ey ey ey was it good! Its our new favorite spot and one of the cutest bistros Ive ever seen. We had a fantastic weekend and topped it off by making Christmas cards but I cant show you those cuz its a surprise. You'll have to wait to get yours in the mail. he he

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Merry Christmas!

I dont have a lot to write. Just that I had a great weekend and these are 4 reasons why. #1 - Photo above - Keir home - Need I say more?

#2 - Keir with her good friend Lauren and I out to dinner having a great time just chatting. Im easy. Spending time with Keir and Im the happiest person on the planet.


#3 - Lil Mozelle - Just so dang cute and smiley its ridiculous. Her eyes are like diamonds. They are just so shiney I have to grab her constantly!

#4 - Look at that face. Kelis is just the sweetest thang ever. We were all done at the park and she said to me "Angie, cmon over to my house okay?" Can I just tell you that this kid can say anything to me and I do it.

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Thats it for today. Had a fantastic weekend with my daughter, sister and nieces. Easy Peasy.

Christmas is coming! Christmas is coming!

Is anyone else as excited about the upcoming holiday season as I am? I dont know whats gotten into me but I'm ready for my Christmas tree and Thanksgiving hasnt even happened yet!

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I just have this incredible feeling that its going to be a wonderful holiday season.

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Ive been listening to Christmas music for the past week and am ready for a yummy turkey and deviled eggs at my moms house for Thanksgiving. The great thing about Thanksgiving is getting the family to sit down at one table for several hours at a time and give thanks.

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This year I have a lot of things to be grateful for.

My daughter

My family

My friends that have stood by me for years and all the friends who came back into my life

My animals

My home

My job

The beautiful city I live in

My health

My happiness

My faith

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All of these special gifts Ive been given in 2008 have definitely made a difference.

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Ive had a little health scare and even that Im grateful for because it has made me stop and reevaluate my life and how I was living it. It made me realize its time to switch gears and downshift. Slow it down.

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Its made me get onto a new path and the next part of my journey. I found a great yoga studio called Yoga Swami http://www.yogaswami.com/directions.html

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I found an amazing homeopathic healer "GITA"

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But most exciting of all is I have had to take a deep breath (several actually cuz Ive been out of breath!) and really make changes in how I was managing my time and my life. I had forgotten to take care of my inner being, my soul.

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I cancelled my gym membership today at Family Fitness. Working out in a gym is not fulfilling to me and I dont enjoy it.

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I love to be outdoors and run along the ocean then do a few extra moves in the park while I watch the sunset. I cant run everyday so I plan to incorporate other things I love and do them more often.

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Hike, Bike, Kayak and my newly added YOGA.

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So even though my health was suffering for a few weeks, it opened me up to realize the bigger picture. TIME FOR CHANGE.

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As my Christmas music plays, my honey candle burns I feel a sense of new peace and tranquility that has been vacant for some time.

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I'll be saying this a few more times over the next few weeks but here is my first one....HAPPY HOLIDAYS ;-)

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* Peace * Joy * Love * Happiness* Laughter *

My wishing well.......

I think Ive read too many fairy tales. Either that or I have a ton of faith in God and the universe. Either way here's the deal. I believe their is someone for everyone. Ive been lucky to have super wonderful men in my life. Ive never been treated so badly that I actually said I dont want anyone in my life. The truth is......I do want a man in my life. Ive come a long way baby and its time to reap the rewards of all my hard work. Its time for me to sit back and enjoy.

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And that I plan to do.........starting RIGHT NOW! At this very moment I am saying to myself....."Damn girl, you have made a real life for yourself" "Something you can truly be proud of" and now its time to share all that great stuff with an awesome guy.

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You all know me. Cant you totally see me sitting at sunset with the perfect man for me drinking the wine in the picture above at sunset? YES!

Can you imagine my perfect guy for me and I all bundled up, snowboards in tow, driving to Mammoth for a week long boarding trip?

Say it with me....YES I CAN!

Imagine with me......that awesome guy and I just on a whim take off to Italy to visit my heritage in Calabria! He and I walk the city all day long, stopping only to sit in a cafe' with a delicious bottle of vino and a baguette with some incredibly scrumptious melt in your mouth cheese. ahhhhhhhhhh can you smell the bread? I CAN!

Next stop for my lover and I? Yes you guessed it..........Costa Rica! Its October and we've been traveling alot but now its time to rest and relax and cut up some fresh juicy limes for our 'Imperial' beers. They arent very cold but we dont mind because were just grabbin them to walk to the beach for a quick surf session. The birds in the trees create the most memorable getaway ever.......

Its January! My perfect guy for me and I decide to bundle back up and head to

NEW YORK CITY!

He loves to travel and is up for anything. We all love him for that!

We stroll through Central Park together and even take the cheesy horse and carriage ride just to say we did it. He is so sweet and funny he tops off the corny ride by getting me a single rose. We spend the entire day in China Town in a little restaurant that we cant pronounce but could care less. We eat dim sum and sip our soup and just enjoy being warm for a few hours before we have to head outside for a long walk back to the hotel. Before we know it, its time for dinner and like me, he loves to be in jeans and tshirts but when youre in NYC you become very fancy and we get all dressed up for our big night out to Babbo. mmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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Because we love to travel we invite all of our friends and family to Maui for the greatest trip of our lifetimes. Our wedding.

Its casual. All the girls are in sundresses and all the guys are in board shorts and flip flops. At sunset we have a small ceremony and afterwards we all toast to the couple who after searching all their lives for one another have finally come together.......

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If dreams do come true this would be mine.

Good days or bad days somehow I always manage to keep my faith in God and the universe that I am deserving. He is on his way to me.

............Now if he could just hurry up!

Inspired

'my favorite scarf'

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Today I woke up feeling rested and rejuvenated. Im not sure if it was the full moon or what but if it was the full moon it was a doozy cuz it took me two days to get over it! I did some primping and as much pampering as I could for myself over the past couple of days so that combined with the full moon moving away has left me feeling light and airy and in a place of gratefulness!

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I thought I'd share a few things that have inspired me the past few days and made me feel not only blessed but really happy both inside and out ;-)

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my new MAC lipgloss perfectly named "PRRRRR"

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the crisp fall morning on monday allowing me to bundle up and wear my favorite scarf

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the smell of the ocean as i drove along the coast

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the new incense i found that leaves my home smelling of sandalwood

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coloring my hair with the wrong brand but having it turn out perfect

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sipping a great buttery chardonnay as the sun sets

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losing my favorite earing then going to the place i originally purchased them and snagging the last pair

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having a teenage daughter who still wants to hang out with me

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buying a shirt i've been eying for days

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realizing life isnt always easy but finally being in a place of true happiness and knowing that everything always works out and to relax

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picking up winston this morning and smelling how good he smells and feeling how soft he is

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meeting and dating a great guy that becomes a friend that is so hot its not even believable (see photo below) that you are connected with on so many levels ~not only is he hot but he is kind, spiritual, intelligent, funny and basically the catch of the century

'the magician'

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putting on coconut lotion and dolce and gabanna perfume

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a berry pizazz smoothie from jamba juice in 90 degree weather

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having a friend call you and say "i'm sending you a package"

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another friend calling her handbag designer sister and saying "please send me two bags for my friend angela"

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having a perfect hair day and not caring if anyone notices then first thing your friend says "wow, you're hair looks great"

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fitting in my beige corduroy jeans that i've had since i was 30

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Well, I guess that's about it for today. I am feeling inspired and felt like I needed to say it allowed so the universe could hear me. Now that all of you know it just reaffirms my desires and my happiness and the universe can hear me even louder with all of your voices as well. Now you know how I feel you can send all of this goodness out into the world! Stop by a jamba juice, buy that lipgloss you've been needing, sip that chardonnay, smell the ocean, buy a shirt you've been wanting and by all means kiss a hot Austrian Magician!

~Auf Wiedersehen

Introducing Bernadette!

Finally! I talk about her all the time like she is my imaginary friend. She exists! hee hee This is Bernie :-) Another friend Melissa wished for me! Bernie has 2 adoreable sons and lives in Carlsbad. We have a ton in common and I probably drive her more crazy then she is cuz Im so bossy. I cant help it and she accepts me the way I am. LOL

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(Mom, Me & Bernie at Wine Loft 10/7/08)
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Whats been so great about Melissa wishing friends for me is that I get out and do stuff all the time now. For a long time I was sad that Keir had moved to her dads. I nested as much as any one person could. I painted my house. Pulled weeds. Decorated my backyards. Painted and decorated both bathrooms. Basically did everything humanly possible to keep busy and get my mind off of Keir not being home.
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Then Mel wished friends for me and as you read in my blog about Sandy you know about 10 new/old friends have come into my life! Its been so fun and Im really loving going out and having girl time!
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Bernie is an incredible chef, artist, mother and friend. She is up for anything and like me, loves food and WINE! Yippee!
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Since we met we have been to Roadhouse, 1st Street, D Street, The Saloon, Savory, Wine Loft, Wine Merchant, Pizzacotto, Islands and even tried to go to Belly up but it sucked so we left. What is the best is calling each other at work and sayin "Hey, ya wanna go to lunch?" or "Hey wine after work?" and then just going! Neither of us make any big plans, we just spur of the moment go and do really fun stuff. As you can tell Bernie is high on my list of great people in the world. Once again I can say, I am truly blessed to have such great friends.
Love ya Berns!

My cute lil' Grandparents

Me and Grandpa Buddy

Grandma Lee, Me and Grandpa Buddy

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My grandparents are just the cutest things. Both in their late 80's they are just adorable! Last night my aunt brought them over to see my newly remodeled and redecorated bungalow.

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My gram just raved about all of the decor and loved the warm and inviting feeling of the house.

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She even said that when Keir is married and has a house of her own she wants Keir's room! Awe.

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Linda brought over a delicious dinner so I didnt have to cook. We spent a couple of hours talking and enjoying the peace and tranquility of my little house.

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Grandpa ate up all of his dinner and loved my shirt! He really liked all of the colors in it and so did Gram. If I can find it again I will try and get it for her for her birthday coming up in November!

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My grandparents have always been a big part of my life. When I was little my sister and I always spent time with them. They were big golfers back in the day and when I was 3 or 4 I nick named my grandma "Grandma-Wack-A-Ball!"

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My grandpa was an amazing athlete and used to be a Golden Gloves boxer in the late 1940's. Whenever we would visit them my memories are always of Grandpa Buddy throwing us up in the air while playing in the pool or doing handstands on the grass. I think my grandpa even taught me how to swim! Good thing too cuz when I was not even 1 I walked right into the pool and my mom had to dive in and save me! I was even bold as a baby!

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My grandparents were always around and luckily 20 years ago they moved from LA to Calrsbad. They are at every family event and have been a huge part of Keir's life. History repeated itself when he helped Keir learn to swim. I cherish those days and all the days to come.

It was so nice to just sit and talk with my grandparents last night. Im so lucky to have them so close. It was a great night.

Your wish is my command

Lately I feel like whatever I ask.... is given. Reconnecting with Sandy is no exception.

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Its incredible. She and I fell away about 12 years ago. Our husbands were best friends and although we stayed in touch after Sean and I divorced it was hard on Sandy and Steve to be partial when they were still friends (and always will be) with Sean.

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I understood and took the high road and left the friendship behind.

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Last month Sandy found me on facebook and contacted me. Mom and I had just been talking about her so it was so amazing when I got her email. We emailed everyday for the past month and finally this past Saturday she came down to visit.

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We have some yummi snacks in my backyard, a couple (yes 2) bottles of Sangiovese and talked the night away.

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I am so happy we are able to come back together. A few months ago I had told Melissa that I really wanted to have more girlfriends to be able to do stuff with. She and I said prayers and within the week she introduced me to a new friend McCabe, then I befriended a gal at work, Bernie, I flew to NC to visit Mel, Vicki and I reconnected after a year of not talking, Darcy who I hadn't seen since Jr High and now Sandy!!!!!

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My little wish came true. Thank you universe for always lookin out for me. Yet another blessing to be grateful for. AMEN ;-)

At lassssssssssssssssttttttttttttttttttttttt......

.................I have said this before but I am finished painting! ha ha I painted the entire house a couple of months ago and absolutely had to take a break. That was alot of painting to do with little help from the outside world. But hey, I did it and its all good. Over the past 2 summers I have made my house that was a place Keir and I just "Lived".......into a place we "L.O.V.E"

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So Here are all the pictures

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My bathroom before...............(What was I thinking?)

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My bathroom after........(I'm still trying to find a mirror...the one I wanted was at Homegoods but was gone when I went to go get it yesterday :-(

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Keir's bathroom before...........Awe it was good for her but it needed some TLC..........

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Keir's bathroom after...............

All warm and cozy now...............Just the way we like it. ;-)

Come on over............See ya'all soon!

Artist on the rise.....

Is she a juggler? Is she a Zen Master? Is she a Master Navigator?

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My sweet little niece is so cute and fun. Not only that tho she is really starting to talk up a storm and be this cool little person. She even wanted to stay with me while my sister was leaving the other night! Little Kelis is not only smart but she has an artistic side too.

A couple of weeks ago when we all went camping everyone painted rocks. Keir did a really awesome one at the top right of this photo. Its a sun but its so cool cuz it reminds me of an Indian summer. She also did the one at the bottom right that says love..........it actually says ONE LOVE but you cant see that cuz our little Zen Master Kelis came by my house and saw all of our painted rocks. I was showing her the ones she had painted and she just thought that was the greatest thing that Auntie Angie had her art on display.

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When I went back into the backyard to see what she was up to she had stacked all of the rocks on top of each other. Their are people at the beach that will stack tons of rocks like this so my theory is she saw this at the beach and remembered it.

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She also remembered the last time she was at the house that I juggled for her. So when she came this time she immediately said "Auntie do the juggler" ha ha. Oh and one last thing about my very intelligent niece........We went for a long walk with Mozelle. When Jen, Kelis, Mozelle and I were walking home Kelis said "Turn here!".......Um yea.......She was telling us where to turn to get to my house. She is 3 and knows how to get to my house! Very advanced I tell ya........

A Canyon Full of Memories

How can one space in the world create so many memories?

So many hopes?

So many dreams?

"Angie, my dad says, wake up and get your sister"

"Jenny, I whisper, wake up"

She opens her eyes

The smell of her room

Her strawberry shortcake bedding

The smell of her baby fine hair

Its Saturday and dad is in the kitchen warming up those little mini cinnamon buns with just a touch of butter

Mom is sleeping but Jenny and I creep in to catch a peek before we get dressed

We're almost dressed now

Me in my faded jeans, tshirt, patchwork jacket and wallabies

Jenny in her lil' jean zip up jumper and wallabies to match mine

We are so excited we dont event recall the drive

As dad opens the car doors and exclaims "Ok, girls, we're here!"

As we begin to walk down the path, I look at Jenny

She is so little

I love her so

She grabs my hand as my dad turns to see us I see his mustache curl up as he smiles

"Stop!"he yells

"shhhhhhhhhhhh, dont move"

Jenny and I can hardly breathe....ba bum ba bum ba bum - our hearts are pounding

He reaches for a twig

We all crouch down

I see the sun glimmer through the trees as the sun catches the spiders web my dad was about to awaken

The smells of the canyon rush through my senses

Fresh

Woody

Clean

Bark

Wet

Dirt

Leaves

Pond

I cherish that moment to this day

As my dad nelt down, he began to take the twig and bat at the dewy spiders web

Jenny and I sat in amazement as a big, black, hairy spider arose from its hollow

Now we must continue on our journey

Leaves cover the path at our feet as we kick our way down the path

We arrive at a clearing

The famous rope swing!

Dad takes the first go

Back and forth he swings

I let go of Jenny's hand knowing I must be brave and go next

As I reach for the swing I feel the coarse rope like the fur of a cow

"One, two, three!", dad yells

I let go and sail through the air

Across the ground and over the rushing brook below

I touch back down along the bank and without a word my dad hands my sister to me and says

"One, two, three!"

As we flew through the air together I remember feeling

Even as a small child

we are so lucky

I bet no one else has a life as good as this

Yourrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr San Diego Chargers!

WHOO HOO! 18-17 Chargers!

Me and dad picked up some subs and beers and headed to the stadium for some tailgating.

We popped open the back of the truck and hung out drinkin and ctachin up til it was time to go in.

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Of course we made friends with our neighbors who ended up to be friends with my buddy Marty from work. What are the chances that we park right next to Marty's friends and up walks Marty. I was like hellllllllllllllllllluuuuuuuuuuuuuu. Ha Ha Too bad they were makin' jambalaya...........it has seafood in it but it sure smelled good! YUM!

We got right up to the players while they were practicing and our man of the hour Ladanian Tomlinson walked right up to my camera. Helluu LT!

When you watch a football game live the players look like gladiators comin onto the field. They are monstrous and focused. I mean CMON! Look at the size of this guys neck! (See below)

Sprolls made the game happen and when they went in for a touchdown then a two point conversion the crowd was going crazy! It is so cool to see the players that keep us happy all season long live and in person! I have enjoyed football since I was a little kid. Football season for me is like a little slice of happiness. To be able to yell and scream and root for my favorite team always makes life just a little nicer. he he

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Thats our team folks. GO CHARGERS! .........and long live the sport of FOOTBALL!

ebbs and flows...........Blues and Golds

Just like life changes and evolves so are my projects at my house! After painting I thought FOR SURE that I was done with projects for a VERY long time. Interestingly enough tho all that it did was spark all of my creative juices to really dive into making my home hold all that is closest to me and for all to enjoy my little bungalow as much as I do.

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Whats great about all of my little projects is they are continuously opening up my dreams, hopes and wishes that I have put away into a little box for so long.

Le Grand Bleu (The Big Blue) is one of my all time favorite movies. Its a quirky/artsy piece with only 2 well-known actors. All of the others are stars in other countries but not in America. Ive been drawn to this movie for so long its amazing that I still rent it and enjoy it everytime. The soundtrack is so peaceful that as weird as it is.... I love it. And of course....ITS THE BLUE COLOR! (Maybe that is where the BLUE started for me?)

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Last weekend I painted the inside of the fireplace B.L.U.E. -

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(Sidenote: Keir and I found the drift wood at the beach in Cardiff, I painted it with a clear coat, my dad drilled the holes for the tea lites then he got me the little glass tea lite holders, I glued them to the driftwood and finally my dad gave me all of the beach rocks that I placed on the floor of the fireplace......A project within a project!)

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Back to the BLUE Fireplace - I have been really focused on this color for a while now. Its all really starting to piece together and if you read this blog, you know the color has something to do with a premonition Ive had that the person I meet will either love this form of the color BLUE or it will be even larger than I can imagine. Is he a Oceanographer? Does he work for the Surfrider Foundation? Does he scuba dive? It could be a million things but I am going to venture forth with my dream of him and what the BLUE means.

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It signifies the past and the present coming together.

It signifies me being ready to give up that ol' caterpillar and become a butterfly.

It signifies me as a woman, letting go of so much and making room for the man Ive dreamed of to enter and share my life.

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Ive decided to go ahead and paint my bathroom BLUE and create that space that from my bed everyday I can wake up and look into that space and see my present and my future. He is so close it is crazy! Mark my words...........Anyday now I will say Oh My GAWD.......Ive met someone and he is everything Ive ever dreamed of, that all of you have dreamed for me, and so much more!

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So Im keepin' on keepin' on and livin life as it comes - knowing that 2008 marks a special year for me. It marks a time that is significant but over and a beginning that I created and that the man of all of my dreams finds fantastic and all that he dreamed of as well. Dont forget the poor guy has been searching for me too so its been hard for him to find me and he is just as happy as I am that we find one another! HA!

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So the B.L.U.E ADVENTURE continues.................stay tuned.

This is gettin good!!!!!!!!! ;-)

Love ~ Memories ~ Truth ~ Hope ~ New Dreams

Over the weekend my parents celebrated 40 years together. We had a big Hawaiian luau and the day could not have been any more perfect. The next day I spent my entire Sunday on the beach with my daughter. Soaking up the sun and playing in the warm water with Keir reminded me of a time when things were simple, easy and maybe even perfect.

We lived in La Jolla at WindnSea on Bonair about 10 steps to one of the most beautiful places in the world. Everyday was like we were living a dream. Lior was from Israel. He had only been in La Jolla a few months when we met. He was young, handsome, kind hearted, loving, sweet and damn if the boy couldnt surf! He was actually pro in Israel.

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We lived everyday like we didnt have a care in the world. And really..........we didnt. Our door was always open, friends would stop in and out, always had food on the stove, ice cold beers in the fridge and we were madly in love. He nicknamed me "Bambita" (bambi) and when he would call for me I would just laugh becuase of his accent. What a doll he was. Not only were Lior and I in love but he adored and loved Keir. He would look at her then look at me saying, without words, "How did I get so lucky to have you girls"? Funny thing was we thought the same of him.

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The ocean breeze flowed in and out of the house we lived in and Gipsy Kings were played daily. I think we just left them in the cd player and for the most part thats all that ever played. And LOUD!

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All week I have been feeling very sentimental. Remembering that time, 10 years ago, when Keir was 5, I was 28, we lived with Lior, the love of my life and everything was dreamy. Its weird to be thinking so much of that time in my life but I think its also a good thing. Ive been taking long beach walks, listening to the Gipsy Kings, Julio Eglesias and some Israeli music Lior and I played together. I made an Israeli dish that I used to make all the time and turned music up really loud last night with all the doors and windows open. Im not trying to re-live the past but I do want to live like its the happiest time of my life. It may never be the same as it was 10 years ago, but as life evolves I have too. I want to live everyday with that feeling of innocence and of that time when life was dreamy.

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I have everything I need. My daughter is happy and healthy, I have a great family, friends, both old and new, a home I love, a job I love and Im healthy. Life is just as its supposed to be.

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Donovan Frakenreiter http://www.donavonf.com/ just came out with a song called "Life, Love and Laughter" and every time it comes on it just makes me smile. It also brings me back to a day when I was on the beach in La jolla.......I was laying out and Lior came from the house and brought me an ice cold corona with a fresh cut lime. We each sipped our beers then went in the water. I had a waterproof camera so we took it with us. The water was clear and we kept taking pictures of each other then one of us together. We were laughing and smiling UNDERWATER! It was so fun and funny. What we didnt know was all of our friends and neighbors were watching us from the shore. When we got out of the water all of the girls were glaring at me......I thought........wow I must really piss girls off......I have a boyfriend that loves me and he is beyond gorgeous and we were just out frolicking in the ocean in front of all of these poor girls that are single. I knew what it felt like to not have someone. If I were those girls I would having been glaring at me too! I came out of the water, dried off and went up to the house and made lil snacks and got some more beers for everyone. It was that or be lynched!

Lior and I were only together for a year but it was just that time in your life that you cherish forever. I feel so refreshed this week and free from something. I cant explain it. I guess Im really in love with who I am and the life I have built for myself and Keir.

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Today Ive downloaded some new tunes, its sunny, Im meeting my sister for drinks and apps after work and damn if life aint awesome! Lior was so wonderful to Keir and I he will always be that special person that I hold close to my heart. Maybe what Ive let go of is that part of my past. I want that as a wonderful memory but am finally ready to have that kind of a man in my life again that is a true, straight up, honest guy that wants to share in all this life Ive built. Actually I know thats what this week has been about. Its about being ready for all that fun again. Slipping into the ocean for a swim, smiling and laughing at life, listenin' to some killer tunes with the man I love, enjoyin' an awesome ocean breeze, drinking ice cold beers and all of this with the sun shining down on us...........ahhhhhhhhhhh (deep breath).

30 years? NO WAY!

30 years? We've known each other for 30 years? We could not stop saying it all night! This is my friend Darcy. We grew up together from elementary on. I moved to Encinitas in the summer of 1978. One of the first friends I made was Darcy. We were inseparable from 5th grade thru Jr. High. We were a year apart so once she left Jr High we lost touch. Always calling each other every year for our shared birthday, June 14th!

Well allllllllllllllllll these years later and this year when I called for our birthday I said WE ARE GETTING TOGETHER this time! So last night we met up at Roadhouse and it was so cool. We totally clicked and have a ton in common. Our lives are in similar places and its pretty neat to think after 30 years here we are again. Darcy is a fitness fanatic. She does 3, yes 3, IRONMAN's a year! And in 11 hours flat! She was 5th and missed qualifying for the Hawaii Ironman by 63 seconds. Darcy, honey, ya have to pee while riding.....no stopping next time! Poor thing didnt know and stopped twice for pee breaks. :-(

We had a great time. Everyone and their brother was at Roadhouse last night. Half the time we were catching up with other old friends while trying to catch up with each other! HA! It was awesome and Im looking forward to hanging out and WORKING OUT with her. She promised to run with me even tho she is used to running 10 miles a day she wont mind my little piddly 3.5 miles. It will be a nice little break for her. Old friends. New connections..........funny how in life we all come full circle.

ps. This morning I put on my "prosperity"necklace made by http://www.energymuse.com/ and asked for abundance in all aspects of my life. hummmmmmmmmm, then this note comes from the universe:

You needn't worry. There is time. You have all the time in the world. You preceded time and you will exist beyond it. Age is irrelevant; more meaningless than a number. Forever, angela, you have FOREVER. There is no dream you now have that you will not manifest. There is no challenge you now face that you will not crush and dispose of. There is no point in spending one more second of your awesome, amazing life, thinking anything to the contrary.

Olé, The Universe

FINALLY! out of my blue-zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Well Im not exactly sure what in the hell has been going on with me. Just feeling so blue and sad. The weather always affects me so that is part of it. Yesterday I had enough of it so I got Keir to come home, cuz that solves half my problems which consists of missing my daughter. So with one happiness added to my day I decided to SNAP out of it and get to the gym! WoW, I think working out and getting my endorphins kicked in is half my battle. Note to self on that one. So anyhoo..........Now that Im feeling better I thought I would drop a little note about the color B.L.U.E.

I have concluded that something major is about to happen in my life that involves the color blue. Before I left for Asheville I had created my vision board. The first color I went for at McCabe's was blue. And its not just any color blue. Its this really amazing bright blue with a hint of purple in it. Well the entire time I was in Asheville, Mel and I noticed the exact color of my blue everywhere! Since Ive been home it hasnt stopped. As you know I painted my entire house. Welp, wouldnt ya know I couldnt decide on the shade of blue for my bathroom. I bought the same color as the rest of the house then just couldnt do that color in there. SOooooooooooooooooo Its getting the BRIGHT PURPLIE BLUE!

Yes, Im crazy. We all know this. But whats crazy is I think the blue has something to do with the man of my "dreams". I know this guy isnt going to be perfect so dont get me wrong, but after the whole Lance incident I know this guy is going to be pretty close to the perfeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeect guy even beyond what I could have ever imagined for myself.

Now back to this B.L.U.E. situation. Im out of my funk and have got to get my bathroom painted pronto! What is up with that? The fuck if I know! I just know that my man is coming and he wants his future bathroom to be painted BRIGHT PURPLIE BLUE! So Im back on track, head out of ass and back to working out, being healthy and happy. We all get in the doldrums so I wanted to dedicate this blog to all of us who feel like crap sometimes and try try try try try to put our fingers on what it is. My thought on this is "Sometimes we dont have all the answers. All we can do is feel what we feel. Be in it. For however long it takes. Realize when it passes. Then move on and dont look back. Dont go back and try to figure out what was wrong with you for a day, a week, a month. Just move on and GET OUT!"

So I am taking a giant spoonful of my own advice. I am going to make a conscious effort to do more stuff with friends, listen to live music as much as possible and just plain ol GET OUT AND HAVE FUN! I have decided to say this outloud "God and the Universe hear my prayers! I am ready to meet the man of my dreams. Please bring him to me in the fastest path possible and let us recognize each other immediately and without question. Let us recognize the truth, honesty and happiness we will share with one another forever and let us both jump in with both feet and without fear of the future." -AMEN

ps. whatever this B.L.U.E. color is............lets all remember this blog. You read it here. Something remarkable is about to happen for my love life that involves this color and my man is going to love me for knowing to expect him.

How many blessings can one take?

This weekend started off with pickin up Keir and her bfrind Blake. First of all they are so sweet to each other and secondly...........WHAT A CUTE PAIR they make! We went to Pizza port and Blake snagged us the best table in the house. We got yummi pizza, passed around Rolling Stone mag and discussed global warming. Lemme tell ya how funny it is to a parent to discuss global warming with my 15 year old and her bfriend. Its an odd feeling knowing your baby is growing up and has interests and opinions on major life issues. Incredible.
Saturday we went to the beach with the whole fam, minus mom, dad and uncle Frank. Otherwise the whole clan was camped out. Kelis adores Keir and Keir adores Kelis. I think they were separated at birth. Jen may as well have had Keir cuz my child looks exactly like her aunt! HA HA. The water was super warm and the waves were so awesome. While I body surfed, my Aunt Lin boogie boarded and we both caught a few waves. Sure felt good to be in the ocean and it always grounds me to have my feet in the sand. ahhhhhhhhhhhh

Baby Mozelle has arrived. Home girl is about to walk! She gets up and holds herself up and has started taking steps. She is only 7 months old! Both Kelis and Mo-Zway are very advanced so Mozelle walking at 7 months is no surprise to Auntie Angie. She was ready to cruise at the beach on Saturday and Sunday I was holding her as she walked and I tell ya this girl is gonna be runnin' but 4th of July!


After a long day at the beach Keir and I set out to get dinner. We drove from Encinitas to Cardiff with our tummies growling and no idea of where we felt like goin. At the last second I remembered ISLANDS! ahhhhhhhhhhhh saved by tortilla soup and a BLT! It was still so warm and sunny after dinner the two Gemini's were not tired enough. We stopped at Ponto, laid out a blanket and watched the sunset. Sunday we slept in, again, then went to Americana in Del Mar for some seriously delicious grub. The sun popped out and it was time to begin our Sunday adventures. We drove to PB and rode our bikes around Mission Bay. Man, could the weekend get any better? YES! Mom and dad got home early from their trip to Morrow Bay so Keir and I made a meat and cheese platter and we ventured on over to their place for snacks and Sunday sunset. I mean cmon...............how many blessings can one take? I am one lucky mom, daughter, sister and niece. Another week has begun. What happiness awaits?

Rested and rejuvenated.......

Well.............are you wondering how my trip was????? Lemme tell ya. It was amazing. I am so rested and rejuvenated I hadnt even realized how badly I needed to travel and experience a new locale. I arrived and Mel & I took a quik tour of downtown Asheville. This shot is from one of Mels fav spots overlooking her magical kingdom.


Now the funny part of the trip was mixed in with so much beauty, lush green mountains and earthy residents was your good ol' boy drivin his BIG TRUK! We didnt see much of that but boy did the 3 of us have a LAUGH OUT LOUD moment when we pulled up behind this here "Red Neck". Loved it!

This is some of the incredible architecture from the view of a little roof top bar called "Sky Bar"......all this bar was really was a few chairs on a fire escape! Ben & Mel need to write a book on "How 2 experience Asheville in 5 days or less!" Everywhere we went was like a secret little hideaway no one else in the world knew about except them. Thats a lie but I liked believing it :-)

The Willems at "SKY BAR"

Okay....so heres where that saying "Be careful what you ask for" comes into play. I wanted to go on a hike while on my vacation right? HA! Holy Mary Mother of GOD did we go on a hike! We hiked MONTREAT. Its a beautiful college that just so happens to have a big fu**in' mountain to hike attached to it!

Yes, youre reading those numbers on the tree correctly. 3760 ft of hiking to be exact! Straight up! Not so great after a day and night which consisted of beers while watching European Soccer (sorry Ben, his Dutch team lost), followed by a stroll over to the SKY Bar for a martini, then popping by a friends wine bar for a glass of wine/champagne, then back home for more wine! Lord have mercy on my poor liver!

The next day we went to the Biltmore Estate for an amazing wine tasting (yes, mom, I bought wine for us so come over for some and I'll make snacks!) The Biltmore is truly a slice of heaven. Its just gorgeous. Filled with acres and acres of gardens and land and magical drives through a life of grandure in the 1900's.

I loved this shot I captured as we were driving thru town. Artists do renderings on almost all of the buildings in Asheville. This one really caught my eye as something special. We had a wonderful time and Ben & Mel were amazing hosts. I got a chance to take a step back and enjoy the pampering of friends and really see how people live day to day in Asheville, NC. We did so much I didnt want to post 80, yes, 80 pictures, so if you want to see more just let me know and I will email you a link to kodak.com for you to view. WOW, rested...................this sure feels good. Thank you my little Willems family.........Ben, Mel, Shelbs, Birchie (my new boyfriend) and Motor. You guys really went out of your way. Now its your turn! CYA in Cali next time. Lots of Love, ANG

ps. I really missed Keir, my family, friends and my little kitties so everyone will have to prepare for some smotherin'

sweet child o' mine.........

Well folks. Im headin out tomorow. I was lucky enough to be able to spend a few days with Sweet Keir before I hit the vacation trails. We went and got birthday massages, had a yummi Italian dinner at Filippis, did a little shoppin and stayed up til midnite til we talked ourselves to sleep. Yesterday we lunched out in the sun at Swami's cafe, and last night when I got home from work she had it all peaceful and quiet. Candles lit and a delicious summer salad made for our dinner. We watched Fool's Gold then Over Her Dead Body with Eva Longoria. Both movies were silly and lighthearted. I actually really liked Over Her Dead Body! I thought it was really funny! Today we are lunchin' with my mom and tonight I will take little miss sunshine Keir back to her pops house. My flight is at sunrise so you all enjoy the next few days. I dont plan to write until I get back but I will be keepin a journal of all of my "Asheville Adventures!"

On a little side note:

My dad came by this morning for a quik coffee. He ended up pulling down some sappy branch from my side yard and checking on some things that need fixin around the house. LOL. The guy cannot sit still. The reason I even mention this is what he was really up to was sending me off with a hug and some loot for my trip! He had a special little thought for Ben and Melissa and I think he needed to tell me in person so I can bring his energy to them. My grandma Thel passed away in November 2007. She is still very present and she wanted to make sure Ben and Mel know that everything is going to be ok with the process of their adoption. Her message came thru my dad and he delivered it in his usual manner. On the sly with lots of love and emotion.

So off I go.

~Happiness in my heart from time spent with precious Keir.

~My mermaid friend taking care of my sweet kitties so I can truly enjoy my time away.

~And my dad, whom I adore, sending me off with such an open soul to possibilities I can only imagine. He never ceases to amaze me.

I L.O.V.E you Keir. ~Love, MoM

This photo found me today.

My days are filled with so many new and

interesting things.

I go about life with a smile on my face

and glitter in my eyes.

Interesting things keep finding me.

How fun is it to be truly happy and fulfilled????

Its a new and amazing feeling for me.

For many years I wondered the earth with so many questions.

So angry.

So insecure.

So hopeless.

Looking at the ground instead of looking at the sky.

I dont know what I was waiting for?

I was looking to my left at a canvas of negativity instead of

looking to my right at the canvas of positive light & love.

Years ago I took a workshop and my instructor Pauly said:

"You better make a choice girl!"

"Are you gonna get busy livin?"

"Or are ya gonna get busy dyin?"

At the time, man, did that strike a cord. I had been gettin REAL busy dyin for years!

Livin in the past.

Angry.

Sad.

Overwhelmed.

Needy.

Desperate.

Lonely.

Insecure.

Thinking the world owed me something.

HA!

The fuckin' world dont owe me nothin!

At that moment I chose to get busy livin.

Well, like I said that was a few years ago and if you have taken a workshop you know the tools you learn fade if you dont use them daily.

Well shit if they havent faded.

So fuck it.

Today Im gonna get back to gettin' busy livin!

Im making my dreams come true.

My daughter is happy and healthy.

My family is happy and healthy.

My friends are happy and healthy.

I have a great job.

A beautiful home.

Animals I love.

And a vacation I wished for since January just came true and Im about to leave for Asheville.

So Im bustin down the door of my pity party and raising my glass to health and happiness prevailing.

Cheers to me and the amazing life "I" created!

All of my dreams are alive and well.

Its a beautiful sunny day in Encinitas and I am happy to be alive.

~Amen

One more week!

This time next week I will be landing in Asheville, North Carolina! Mellie Mel and I have been needing some serious GIRL TIME (Picture is from our last GIRL WEEK in NYC) and finally Im gettin' my ass on a plane and headin to the south! Its about 85 degrees there right now so Im lookin' forward to all the amazing experiences we will have. Me in shorts and flip flops for a week. Pure Heaven on earth! Ben loves soccer so Saturday we will be headin' to a pub to watch some Euro Soccer! Anything with sports and Im there! Especially if sweetheart Ben wants me to join in on what he loves. :-) Thanks for thinkin of me Ben! (Ben is Mel's hubby) Mel is a fab cook so she plans to have beers and tacos all ready for my arrival on Friday! YUMMMMMMMMMM How good does that sound after travelin all day! YEAH! Little Birchie, their pup text me a pic yesterday telling me to feel better since I have a sore throat. The picture of him looked like he was sincerely worried about me. LOL. I got some YIN CHIAO upon Ben's recommendation and low and behold its been about 4 hours and Im feelin' better! Come on herbs............kick my cold...Its my birthday tomorrow and I need some martini's with McCabe! Om Om Om

I'm thinking about you.

I miss you, he says...

Visions of you in a daydream

Awakened by the ocean one morning

Visions of us

As you kiss me something stops you

You look at me deeply

A smile

The vision fades ever so softly

My day begins knowing you are floating towards me

Your arms around me as we rest within the oasis

Our toes touching

Our lips connect

The sweet smell of love

Our embraces overwhelm us

We are perfect for each other, he says

The words "I know" are on my breath

From the distance the doors play

You look at me in amazement

I can't believe I am here, he says

The words "I know" are on my tongue

We fall into each other

He is kissing me

The waves of his curls skim my eyelashes

I realize

It was YOU

In my vision that morning when the ocean awakened me

The vision of my future with YOU

The smile

It was YOU

It is YOU

I'm thinking about you.

I miss you, he says...

The words I Love YOU are in my heart

~Always

but a dream? yes, most certainly.

Do you ever feel like you're dreaming?
Like everything around you is but a dream?

When I stopped at Pannikin this morning the sandwich board outside said....."Are you living your life full of joy and happiness or are you dwelling in a sea of misery? Remember.......its all about location location location!"

I thought...HELL YEA it sure is and my location just shifted and it happens to be pretty damn awesome!

I finished painting the house on Saturday night. By 9pm everything was put back and cleaned up and I was sitting in amazement of what I had just accomplished. My home is what Ive always dreamed. Warm, cozy, inviting, sexy, zen, balanced and I feel like Ive been given a gift. The gift of tranquility.

It doesn't matter where I am in my house now. The living room, the kitchen, my room or the dining room.....I feel

like...yes.........finally.........

I've arrived.

My home is cleansed of the past and is now in the "PERFECT PRESENT".

Come on in..........mi casa su casa. ~Enjoy

Blessings

I have many blessings in my life. Everyday as I drive to work I say all the things I am grateful for. I realized so many of the things I have envisioned for myself the past few years all seem to be coming to fruition. I decided to stop at Ponto jetty and thank GOD and the universe for all of my blessings. As I walked to the jetty to my left was spray painted the word LOVE.



I am grateful for a loving, amazing, smart, sweet, kind, beautiful, funny, healthy and happy daughter and for my wonderful family.

I am grateful for finding this beautiful heart shaped shell mirror and finding the perfect spot in my bedroom so every morning when I wake up I can glace to my right and see the reflection of my tropical oasis...

Im grateful for my lil' sweet raspy meowing, toy fetching, husky Emilio

Im grateful for my Winston who has overcome his skin issues and is now his old cranky self ....minus the obsessive scratching and fur loss.

Im grateful that Winston loves me so much the he was even giving the camera love while I was snapping away with him on my tummy. (I think he looks like a sly player out to get chicks in this pic)

And finally Im grateful for my beautiful bougainvillea outside my bedroom.

OH! A little note I received from the universe today which I thought was perfect:

Best case scenario, Angela, you really are a magnificent, powerful, divine Being of Light; your thoughts really do become things; nothing is impossible; your dreams are meant to be; and these Notes really are from an ancient, wise, all-loving, all-knowing best friend.Worst case scenario, Angela, you're dreaming the whole thing up. Whoooooooooo-hooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! ~The Universe

I'm leavin' on a jet plane................

Friday morning I woke up and first thing I thought was..........I wish I were in NYC with Melissa at Balthazar (picture in caption)on our way to lunch to have apps, yummy wine and more than anything.....girl time! I have really been missing Mel and she and I have been asking the universe to bring us together since January! She and Ben had visited Cali last summer and we all had a great time. Ever since Ive been missing her terribly. (Ben too of course) So Friday she and I were on the phone and she shared with me that she and Ben had a set back in their adoption process. It really hit me hard. Not only was my friend hurting but I couldn't be there for an "Its going to be okay" hug. We got off the phone and I just could not stop the tears. I sat quietly at my desk working on a report but being that my boss sits directly to my desk in a glass office he could not help but see that I was upset. He just flat out said "whats wrong". I have a hard time sharing with him because he is MY BOSS. But from the day I started at this company he and I clicked and became friends almost instantly. I chose to share what was happening with Mel & Ben and that I just wished I could be there. He said "well, you're going!" Of course knowing my financial limits I knew that was not possible for now. It didn't take him but a blink to realize why I wasn't going and he said again "You're going!" "Use my miles on American. YOU'RE GOING!" Within minutes I had accepted his generous gift and booked my flight. 10 minutes later I was on the horn to Mel with my little surprise..................."How does the 20th sound?" I said............."How does the 20th sound for what?" she said. "For me to come to Asheville?"....................silence. "Get the FUCK outta here!" she said.........We both just giggled uncontrollable for 5 minutes after and immediately started planning all the stuff we will do when I arrive! Seeing the house, Ben's clinic, Biltmore Estates, hikes, Ben playin the banjo, Birchie, Motor, Shelbs, Baby Ezra's room, wine, food and conversation...........all the stuff we miss as best friends for months at a time! Holy Shit! I'm going to Asheville! See you in 10 days and a wake up little Mellie Mel Julep Head! Like I said................Dreams do come true. Thanks Steve!

Life's a Beach

Sometimes one just needs to stop and smell the roses. Today this one stopped dropped and rolled! I drove my tired ass to the beach, opened up the window, stuck my feet up, put on some Ray LaMontague (thanks Mel) and watched the waves crash and the seagulls fly. After goin' goin' goin' for days and days I just needed a rest.

For me resting is "not thinking". The beach is my meditation garden. Watching the ocean and the grass swaying in the wind is so peaceful to me. I decided tonight I will not be painting. I'm gonna plop on the couch and watch the Lakers kick the Celtics asses and drink some Amstels. The house ain't goin' anywhere. Plus I need to support my people. The Lakers cant win if I'm not paying close attention. :-) GO LAKERS!

Its official.........Im pooped.

I finished my room! I cut in and taped off for what seemed to be a thousand years! I actually got a little pissy while I was painting last night. The exactness of taking a brush, holding my hand steady and cutting in a perfectly clean line was annoying me. LOL ...The results are amazing tho so I pulled my head out of my ass, stopped complaining, turned up D'Angelo and finished my entire room and put all the pictures back up! WHEW! And yes.........as promised, I cleaned out under my bed. Now all thats left under there is a bat (to hit any possible intruders with) and a giant cop flashlite. This weekend I need to shop for a pink ROSE QUARTZ stone and place it under my bed for LOVE. (per Melissa's recommendation) and I need all the help I can get in the L.O.V.E. department so a shoppin I will be goin! :-)

I really love how the cinnamon turned out. Its actually called Chivalry Copper but I like to call it cinnamon cuz it sounds better.

The contrast of the Coastal Mist and the Chivalry Copper is exactly what I imagined. The Coastal Mist sends me away to the Hampton's and the Chivalry Copper reminds me of sunsets on Ka'anapali. mmmmmmmm Im ready for a Pina Colada!

Painting in Progress - Part Deux

My little beach shack is officially UNDER CONSTRUCTION! Painting the first wall Sunday, then the two walls on Monday in my room were nothin compared to what was done last night. Professional MASTER PAINTER uncle Frank came over and what he accomplished in 4 hours was insanity! He was cutting in the ceiling while I was taping off baseboards and realizing.........wow, my house is filthy!

Luckily he was so busy he didnt noticed my disgust. So not only will I be cleaning out the "Old memories" from my bedroom, but I will also be plain ol' CLEANING! My kitchen is nasty so that will be the first thing to be overhauled after the painting is complete. The good news (since Ive totally grossed you out now) is that the colors I picked are exactly what I imagined and I am so excited for all of this to be done, clean and ready for its unveiling! Thanks for all your help FRANK and a little smidge of help from mom too. (She stopped by and taped off the dining room baseboard) Hey I'll take all the help I can get! Tonight I am finishing my bedroom and the hallway........maybe the kitchen if its not too late.......and THURSDAY I will tackle the rest of the living room! Almost done.........WHEW!

This is a new one for me. I am showing you my work in progress. My entire life I have only done unveiling's. No one has ever seen the actual before image. LOL! With blogging I want to be open and let you in so here ya go. THE BEFORE IMAGE! The blue wall is the one I just painted. The wall to the right is the ol ugly cream yukky color thats been there for a hundred years. (I swear they didnt paint before I moved in 4 years ago) After tonight that wall to the right of the blue will be a cinnamon color. I am so excited I can barely stand it!

Another shot of the new MYSTIC BLUE :-)

Contrast of the blue and ol cream color. Can you see how blah it is? WOW, crazy Ive lasted 4 years with it.

So the wall to the left of the blue will also be blue. My uncle is coming over tonight with his 12 foot ladder to paint the high ceilings. Thank GOD for Frank! Not only does he own a painting company but he is the best uncle on the planet!

My room. I did the blue on that wall and the wall to the left. The ugly wall to the right will be cinnamon after tonight! ohh la la One last interesting tidbit. Um, wow, there is stuff under my bed that I apparently have forgotten existed. I found a note from LIOR and an old journal from 3 years ago. So after everything is painted, before I put my room back together, I vow to clean EVERYTHING out from under my bed. Its bad energy to have items under you bed anyways! By painting and cleaning I am opening up new energy for love to enter into my life. :-) He will enter into a home of love and newness. No old energy to stop him from entering my life! YAY!

Saturday Keir and I went to Torrey Pines and hiked for two hours. Man was it a gorgeous day. All of the trails we went on lead us to a view of the ocean. We saw dolphins! It was so amazing. Our last trail we went on took us down to the beach. That was so cool cuz I have hiked there so many times but never had taken the trail all the way down to the beach. We got down and collected seashells and played in the ocean. Incredible day!

Keir at the first stop. Smiling but knowing Im going to make her go to the next trail which means she will be getting sweatty. LOL!

Us at the peak overlooking the dolphins. Sorry but you cant see them. But we could!

Hung out at mom and dads for a bit on Sunday and got to visit with Jen, Kelis and Baby Mozelle. Got this picture of half the girls. Grandma Karen was sitting over to the right with mo-zway. How lucky are we to all be able to visit any time we want! Love it. Loved the weekend. Love my life. :-)

Once upon a time long long ago, their lived a caterpillar. This caterpillar was very sad. It was very sad because it tried and tried to be happy and never could. It tried everything it thought. But like most sad caterpillar's, this sad caterpillar was wrong. So one day the caterpillar inched its way to the jetty at Ponto and made several wishes......

~Wish one, please keep my caterpillar family safe.
~Wish two, please give me tools to be happy.
~Wish three, please bring me a caterpillar that will share my life with me, love me, laugh with me, go thru life with me, and enjoy all the things I enjoy.

Yesterday this caterpillar went to her friends house. They have this beautiful sanctuary where she can go to create her dreams.Her friends helped her to be clear on her desires and dreams and together with their love and kindness, she created her vision of oceans, love, happiness, truth, honor and forever.

When she was done she stepped back and saw sparkles of her dreams etched on a beautiful blue canvas of love.

What she realized when she awoke this morning was all her three wishes have come true but one. Its the last one. Her wish of that caterpillar to share her life with. This morning as she lay looking at her dreams on the canvas she laughed to herself......My last wish can only come true if I stop being this sad caterpillar. So before she began her day she came out of her cocoon and became a BUTTERFLY.

Now this isn't the end to this story. Today is only the beginning. The beginning of "Angie's Story" and the day she became a butterfly. Today she is flying high and her final wish is about to come true. Her wish is just over the horizon and he is flying towards her.

~the beginning

I had to post this! You can see Emilio is in "full effect" with his belly and Winston is being his usual self. Laid back, annoyed with Emilio being too close to him but just overall caring only that there is enough sun on the ground for him and husky lil' Emilio. They sure love that spot. Course I had to get down there and rub both their bellies cuz they were so cozy and warm..........They are my boys. :-)

This morning I woke up and knew today was a "new" day. A day filled with special gifts. Gifts I decided to give to myself. Not material gifts but the gift of being kind, gentle and loving to my heart and soul.

Today what that means to me is this...

~a run along the beach listening to The Best of The Beach Boys,

~the sun starting to peak out at me as if it was smiling to say "Good morning Angie, since you decided to be kind to yourself today, I will shine just for you to enjoy"

~walking all of the stairs from cardiff campgrounds to swamis

~finding the most perfect rock shaped like a heart

~picking up white seashells and truly enjoying every shell I found and thinking to myself..I live here, I am not vacationing, I can do this any day I wish

~feeling good about my body and how it feels as I walk down the beach......not criticizing my every movement...........just enjoying the fact that I am healthy

~buying some groceries, making myself coffee, cleaning up my little beach shack

~taking a shower

~putting on coconut lotion

all of this knowing...........this isnt for anyone but me. I am coming back to loving myself again, feeling centered, believing in love and true happiness and reminding myself..........all of this took many years to find and no one person can take this away from me. So today I take back my heart, wrap it up in a pink ribbon and commit to being very gentle to myself. Ive recovered from heartache. Today my heart has recovered and I have rejuvenated my soul and my will to be me. I give myself permission to be happy again and believe in the MAGIC OF LOVE.

Peace out.

Duh! Guess it might help if I showed you who Rick is! Here ya go..........

Lakers Playoff tickets! BOX SEATS! Oh yea! Got the killer parking spot, up the escalators and into Suite B. ha ha ha We could not stop laughing! AMAZING! Now all the Lakers have to do is make sure they win so the event was a success! LOL..cuz you know its all about us!

On our drive up we talked about the Red Hot Chili Peppers and how back in da day they were Rick's favorite band. Incredible as this sounds.............Flea, from the RHCP's played the Star Spangled Banner on the trumpet to open the game! What were the odds of that happening? Flea playing the Star Spangled Banner? We both had chills and couldnt help but get choked up at the sound of the song playing.

Beers, tostadas, some shrimp dish and chicken fingers and we were front row of the suite. Feet up, more beers and its your LOS ANGELESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS LAKERS. The game was fast and majorly different from what you see on tv. It was the first live NBA game for both of us and for it to be in a suite during the playoffs was pretty intense. Besides the game of course......stars were everywhere! Jack Nicolson, he got a standing ovation when the camera panned on him, while the camera played the Kissing Game and made couples kissed, they happened to pan on a rather famous couple............THE BECKHAMS! And they gave everyone a show and went ahead and kissed! So cool! Sylvester Stalone, Peter Burg, Flea and a few we didnt know. After lots of yelling, screaming, whoo hoo's and high fives the Lakers won and we had a total blast! Rick is a huge Lakers fan so he was the perfect buddy to take. Thanks Rick!

Well I think Ive posted enough for one day! I got a little carried away. I'll send you off for the weekend with thoughts that I say everyday to myself.....

HOPE - CREATE - LAUGH

Have a great Memorial Day weekend!!!!

Ive lived in this little beach shack for 4 summers. Can you believe its been 4 summers? YES! For 3 summers I would lay in my bed staring outside my sliding glass doors to my side yard full of sticker bushes, sap, weeds, nasty paint peeling off the walls and spider webs galore!

So many wonderful things were happening in my life, yet every morning I woke up and went to bed with this ugliness for a view.

So a couple of months ago it was a sunny Saturday morning and I had no plans. Me! No Plans! So I got into some grubbs and went for a Home Depot run. Got some bamboo, plants, pots, staples and put on my creative cap. I went to town! All on my own! Started pulling weeds, stapling up bamboo and scrubbing the patio floor. After about 4 hours it was done. Now every morning I wake up, open up the slider, smell the flowers and grass and begin my day. :-) At night I turn on the twinkle lites and fall fast asleep dreaming of the life Ive created. Makes me happy everyday and every night.

So here you can see Emilio is not so lil' anymore. He has even kicked poor ol' Winston out of the window spot. This used to be Winstons territory. Now poor winnie just bails when big ol' husky Emilio jumps up. He would just rather not deal with the young punk.

Lil' Emilio is such a lover. He looks normal in this picture but he is very chubby. Sometimes he sits in this chair and licks his tummy. Then you can realllllllllllllllllllllly see how husky he is. I love coming down the hallway to see him sitting in my chair. That face. Hilarious. He always looks like he is smiling....................

Just A Thought

just a thought
for lance

she sees him
a glimmer of thought, that maybe
yes maybe
he could see her
see her for who she was, is
ha
years had passed
time elapsed
the crush
she turned around in line
he followed her lead
he read her mind
a night out of town
a sunny day turned into a summer night
awake in his arms
the sweet smell of a smile
common ideals
common hopes
common lives
too much?
too fast?
too slow?
not enough?
he does not see her now
he only sees that past
he runs away
she knows she must move towards her dreams
she will remember a frozen moment in time
him in her doorway
tall
kind
happy
secure
true
sincere
strong
protective
she can see what he does not know even of himself
she sees what others before her missed
the look in his eyes
that look she had waited for
the look he gave was just for her
no
it was
just a thought
just a thought of love