Yesterday I sat in my backyard looking up at the sky. I was asking God and the universe for guidance, clarity, strength, hope and whatever else the two of them could come up with for me. You know what was answered back? A light breeze, birds singing and a lil sunlight peeking thru the clouds. This has always been the answer when I ask questions. The breeze, sun, singing.......they are all there to remind me to surrender to my own mind. Step out. Let life be life. Im not in control. Im just here to live, love and laugh.
Live the best life. Be the best mother, daughter, sister and lover I can be. Be gentle with myself. Be happy that I am healthy! I was remembering a few months ago when my health wasnt so good. All the tests. Monitors. Doctor visits. It was not that long ago! Going to sleep for weeks wondering......"Am I dying?" - "Will I wake up tomorrow?" ......And now just months later......Im healthy and all of those health issues are gone. So living the best life to me means BE HAPPY TO BE HEALTHY AND ABLE TO LIVE!
Love with my whole heart. Be open. Help others in need.
Laugh. Mostly to laugh. Laugh at myself. How serious I am. Why am I this way you ask? Conditioning. A lifetime of being conditioned to BE THE BEST. Being the best at everything is all consuming. Years ago I gave up that thinking but recently have forgotten to get back to that place of laughing at myself. Let go of the conditioning and remind myself to STOP-LOOK-LISTEN not just to my own inner voice but of those around me who love me and want only my true happiness.
The air around me has been cloudy of late. But today I surrender. I surrender to thinking I am the all seeing eye. This, I am not. I am just a simple girl. Living a simple life. Loving my daughter, family friends. Thanking God and the universe for giving me a job that keeps a roof over my head, gas in my car, light in my home and food on my table. For my destiny leading me to a man who has challenged me to see out side of myself and to be open to whatever our journey together brings.
So again, I surrender. Surrendering has never been easy for me. I like things in order. Ship shape. Easy. Basic. Drama free. But luckily for me and those around me. Nowadays I find peace when I surrender. When I let go. Today, I am letting go..............