Love ~ Memories ~ Truth ~ Hope ~ New Dreams

Over the weekend my parents celebrated 40 years together. We had a big Hawaiian luau and the day could not have been any more perfect. The next day I spent my entire Sunday on the beach with my daughter. Soaking up the sun and playing in the warm water with Keir reminded me of a time when things were simple, easy and maybe even perfect.

We lived in La Jolla at WindnSea on Bonair about 10 steps to one of the most beautiful places in the world. Everyday was like we were living a dream. Lior was from Israel. He had only been in La Jolla a few months when we met. He was young, handsome, kind hearted, loving, sweet and damn if the boy couldnt surf! He was actually pro in Israel.

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We lived everyday like we didnt have a care in the world. And really..........we didnt. Our door was always open, friends would stop in and out, always had food on the stove, ice cold beers in the fridge and we were madly in love. He nicknamed me "Bambita" (bambi) and when he would call for me I would just laugh becuase of his accent. What a doll he was. Not only were Lior and I in love but he adored and loved Keir. He would look at her then look at me saying, without words, "How did I get so lucky to have you girls"? Funny thing was we thought the same of him.

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The ocean breeze flowed in and out of the house we lived in and Gipsy Kings were played daily. I think we just left them in the cd player and for the most part thats all that ever played. And LOUD!

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All week I have been feeling very sentimental. Remembering that time, 10 years ago, when Keir was 5, I was 28, we lived with Lior, the love of my life and everything was dreamy. Its weird to be thinking so much of that time in my life but I think its also a good thing. Ive been taking long beach walks, listening to the Gipsy Kings, Julio Eglesias and some Israeli music Lior and I played together. I made an Israeli dish that I used to make all the time and turned music up really loud last night with all the doors and windows open. Im not trying to re-live the past but I do want to live like its the happiest time of my life. It may never be the same as it was 10 years ago, but as life evolves I have too. I want to live everyday with that feeling of innocence and of that time when life was dreamy.

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I have everything I need. My daughter is happy and healthy, I have a great family, friends, both old and new, a home I love, a job I love and Im healthy. Life is just as its supposed to be.

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Donovan Frakenreiter http://www.donavonf.com/ just came out with a song called "Life, Love and Laughter" and every time it comes on it just makes me smile. It also brings me back to a day when I was on the beach in La jolla.......I was laying out and Lior came from the house and brought me an ice cold corona with a fresh cut lime. We each sipped our beers then went in the water. I had a waterproof camera so we took it with us. The water was clear and we kept taking pictures of each other then one of us together. We were laughing and smiling UNDERWATER! It was so fun and funny. What we didnt know was all of our friends and neighbors were watching us from the shore. When we got out of the water all of the girls were glaring at me......I thought........wow I must really piss girls off......I have a boyfriend that loves me and he is beyond gorgeous and we were just out frolicking in the ocean in front of all of these poor girls that are single. I knew what it felt like to not have someone. If I were those girls I would having been glaring at me too! I came out of the water, dried off and went up to the house and made lil snacks and got some more beers for everyone. It was that or be lynched!

Lior and I were only together for a year but it was just that time in your life that you cherish forever. I feel so refreshed this week and free from something. I cant explain it. I guess Im really in love with who I am and the life I have built for myself and Keir.

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Today Ive downloaded some new tunes, its sunny, Im meeting my sister for drinks and apps after work and damn if life aint awesome! Lior was so wonderful to Keir and I he will always be that special person that I hold close to my heart. Maybe what Ive let go of is that part of my past. I want that as a wonderful memory but am finally ready to have that kind of a man in my life again that is a true, straight up, honest guy that wants to share in all this life Ive built. Actually I know thats what this week has been about. Its about being ready for all that fun again. Slipping into the ocean for a swim, smiling and laughing at life, listenin' to some killer tunes with the man I love, enjoyin' an awesome ocean breeze, drinking ice cold beers and all of this with the sun shining down on us...........ahhhhhhhhhhh (deep breath).